The Tea Room Community Group
This is a private group by invitation only. It is a group for those who have a loved one with a brain injury. This group was not founded by me but I will serve as the founder temporarily as one of the first members.
Thank you so much for the invitation to join this lovely group. I spent several hours last night reading prior posts in an attempt to get to "know" you, and I am amazed by how similar our experiences are, and, even more so, how supportive and caring the members here are.
By way of introduction, my husband and I have two children, our regularly-abled 22-year-old daughter (GC), and our differently-abled 20-year-old son (GC), who sustained a TBI in the fall of 2007.
In the four years since my son's accident, we have experienced so many changes. BC is highly functioning, but his behavioral issues have prevented him from accessing his cognitive abilities. In four years BC went from comatose --> inpatient rehab facility --> walking, talking, eating --> junior year of high school --> legal troubles --> 7-month residential program for troubled teens --> alcoholism and 2 OUI's. During this time we watched every one of his friends fall away and the strong sibling ties between MC and our daughter GC disintegrate. Fortunately for him he has little to no insight into his injuries, poor social skills, lack of empathy, etc., so these things are much more painful for us than they are for him.
The good news: BC has been sober for approximately the last 6 months! This is HUGE. Many of his behavioral difficulties that led to his legal troubles (lack of judgment, lack of inhibition) are now controlled with medication, and he at least is now able to verbalize why he should never drink again. He's without a drivers' license for 3 1/2 years, so hopefully the lesson will finally stick.
BC's main impediments to success right now are poor executive functioning skills, especially organization and planning; memory issues; physical tics (pacing, eye blinking, repetitive finger motions), lack of insight into injuries, and poor social skills. He's also somewhat clumsy, which is painful to watch only because he was such a coordinated athlete prior to his accident, but it doesn't really impede his day to day life.
We are currently working on trying to get BC to plan and implement plans for his future. In the course of 5 minutes, he goes from "I want to go to college" to "I want to get a job" to "I want more SSI money" to "I want to move out." We're having difficulty finding a career that interests him while also being appropriate for him. Walmart, where he worked for 6 months through our state rehab commission, didn't do it for him.
When I started writing, I told myself that I would make it brief -- oops! -- but I think that's enough.
I am thankful to be here in the Tea Room among people who understand. As I've read from each of you, nobody gets it unless they've been there.
Happy Monday, everyone!
By way of introduction, my husband and I have two children, our regularly-abled 22-year-old daughter (GC), and our differently-abled 20-year-old son (GC), who sustained a TBI in the fall of 2007.
In the four years since my son's accident, we have experienced so many changes. BC is highly functioning, but his behavioral issues have prevented him from accessing his cognitive abilities. In four years BC went from comatose --> inpatient rehab facility --> walking, talking, eating --> junior year of high school --> legal troubles --> 7-month residential program for troubled teens --> alcoholism and 2 OUI's. During this time we watched every one of his friends fall away and the strong sibling ties between MC and our daughter GC disintegrate. Fortunately for him he has little to no insight into his injuries, poor social skills, lack of empathy, etc., so these things are much more painful for us than they are for him.
The good news: BC has been sober for approximately the last 6 months! This is HUGE. Many of his behavioral difficulties that led to his legal troubles (lack of judgment, lack of inhibition) are now controlled with medication, and he at least is now able to verbalize why he should never drink again. He's without a drivers' license for 3 1/2 years, so hopefully the lesson will finally stick.
BC's main impediments to success right now are poor executive functioning skills, especially organization and planning; memory issues; physical tics (pacing, eye blinking, repetitive finger motions), lack of insight into injuries, and poor social skills. He's also somewhat clumsy, which is painful to watch only because he was such a coordinated athlete prior to his accident, but it doesn't really impede his day to day life.
We are currently working on trying to get BC to plan and implement plans for his future. In the course of 5 minutes, he goes from "I want to go to college" to "I want to get a job" to "I want more SSI money" to "I want to move out." We're having difficulty finding a career that interests him while also being appropriate for him. Walmart, where he worked for 6 months through our state rehab commission, didn't do it for him.
When I started writing, I told myself that I would make it brief -- oops! -- but I think that's enough.
I am thankful to be here in the Tea Room among people who understand. As I've read from each of you, nobody gets it unless they've been there.
Happy Monday, everyone!
Son=BC
Sorry - tried to come up with code names but goofed. :)
LoL! I had to laugh when you assigned code names to your kids, as I had to give my daughter an alias also, as I didn't want anyone to be able to identify who I was in DS.
You and I are riding the same storm so to speak, as my 27 y.o. daughter suffered her BI 11 years ago, in her junior year of HS. She also has a mild BI, and we have gone through the substance abuse issues, the legal, watching her loose her friends, not deciding what career path/school/jobs etc. Unlike your son, she has never been on SSI/medicare so we've had no financial help except for Federal Aid for her education.
I want you to know it can and will get better. One thing that helped our daughter who was a dedicated athlete in HS was her focusing on physical activity to keep herself in shape. As most of us have mentioned our BI loved ones have become narcissistic and in the case of our daughter will look in a mirror any chance she can. It can take her up to 2 hours to get ready to leave the house and then when she does she is in some filthy old piece of clothing that she's held on to since HS. LoL!
At any rate it does get better. Believe in miracles.
x0xc
MiMi
We are all in this place tohelp and be helped.
Kelly
Even some of us who have been there don't get it! Things can improve and often do. Keep posting ~ I have found this group to be wonderful!
I think I will bring up the weight lifting idea to him. He works best when we "hit and run" -- "Hey, BC, what do you think about weight lifting?" End of discussion until another day. :) I think this gives him to process in little bits.
Again, nice "meeting" you all, and I look forward to talking to you soon!
HayMom7