HayMom

There is something called Goal Management Training(GMT). I don't know a whole lot about it, but here is a link to a website that might give you more info on it...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3043269/

Good luck!

Thanks, RunGirl! I can't find anything in the New England area, but I did contact one of the authors in Ireland. Maybe she can help direct me to someone closer.

Best,
HayMom

There is also cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)...might help with this as well...my husband had this type of therapy for 3 years.

RunGirl, how did CBT work for your husband? Did it help? Right now our biggest problem with our son is getting him to plan beyond the moment. He wants a job, he wants his own apartment, he wants to go to school, he wants xyz, but he is unable to make any kind of a plan to get there. To exacerbate the problem, he is unwilling to work with me or my husband to make a plan. I'm really looking for some kind of therapy where they will help him to work through his goals and develop a plan to meet them.

Thanks for your help, ladies!

My daughter went through 6 months of CBT starting 1 1/2 years after her injuries. It has helped her but it does require discipline because there are exercises and tests, etc. that have to be done on a daily basis. She went to the facility twice a week at first and did the required list of things at home the other days. The place she went was a Neuropsychologist facility. Part of the program even included meditation. I am very fortunate that my daughter did not fall into a cycle of drinking or drugs. She did try to drink a few times since her accident but it makes her really sick. The CBT has been beneficial, however it is clear that my daughter is not at the academic level she used to be. She used to be a Marketing major and now the classes she used to take would be remarkably more difficult. Something else that makes me so sad is her personality is almost childlike and I believe it is “turning people off” for lack of better words. I just could cry thinking about it. But she is pretty happy and it could be worse so I count my blessings. And I wish very much that things get better for all of you.

Oh, Klassact, I could cry for you! Yes, the childlike behaviors are off-putting, particularly when their peers are at an age when they are striving to become adults. Thank you for the feedback on CBT. I'm not sure my son would have the follow through for it, which is part of his problem in the first place. It's such a conundrum.
It sounds as though you are in a fairly good place with acceptance, and I am so NOT. I just want my son to begin to settle. A part time job, volunteering, a photography class... Something. His life is just so empty. And he is not happy, so like you, it makes me want to cry. But I will keep searching for ways to get him productivea when I look at where he was a year ago, I feel so encouraged. One little step at a time is all I ask. Hugs to you!

CBT did help my husband as well. His therapist worked a lot with him on organization, making lists of what he needs to do & getting a routine again...along with many other things. My husband had 'homework' as well like klassact said her daughter had. His therapist was also good for him & listened to some of his struggles & would sit & talk with him at times like a counselor would. He does not go to this therapy anymore & he still struggles with planning, organization, follow thru with a sequence of tasks, focus, etc. On the days he is 'feeling well' he can manage these better, but on days he's not it really effects him a lot...he can get very frustrated with it...he told me it feels like it is all very overwhelming. I tell him to try to prioritize things & take only 1 or 2 things & try to accomplish that day. This is very frustrating for him because he had none of these problems before the BI. Your son might benefit from CBT especially if he isn't willing to work with you & your husband. My husband went thru so much cognitive testing & therapy & still can not work...not even part-time. But he does volunteering & he has made progress over the past 2 yrs. Don't let your son give up...but it just might take a long time for him to reach where he wants to be. But, if he has some plan & direction...it will greatly help him reach his goals! Also...for relearning everyday basic needs there is Occupational therapy...this too was part of my job-title as spouse/caregiver...I had to & at times still do...reteach my husband basic things around the house! LOL :-) Gotta go put my 4yr old for a nap....talk more later.... :-)

Ok...I'm back..until the rest come home from school soon! :-) What I was going to finish up saying is that I have noticed with my husband...there are a lot of ups & downs. Certain times of the yr he is able to manage things better & other times he seems to be back to where he was in the beginning....setbacks so to say. Another thing you & all those here who have older children with BI...maybe see if there is a support group for them...if possible ones close to their age so they can find friends with similar difficulties so they don't always feel so different. This will boost their confidence & fill some of the emptiness they might feel because the friends they had before the accident might not always understand. I so saw this with my husband. Only 1 or 2 of his old friends still talk to him & it isn't often...he is making 'new' friends but still seems like a struggle at times for him to do this. Which is really sad to see because he had so many friends & was so social before! He was part of a support group for about a yr, but those members moved or left the group & he hasn't found another one...but I did see that when he was part of it it helped him feel better about himself! I hope the info I have given you helps you & your son!!! Love, RunGirl3

Thanks, I really needed this...especially this week..J is a senior 4 years post accident. So we have the senior craziness going on but also her friends are dwindling....they all want to go out partying and wont invite her to anything because she is adiment (thank God) that she can't drink. She works part time and drives but really needs to find somewhere to meet REAL friends....but as with anything in this new normal....this too will pass. J is brutally honest and doesn't hold anything back with people who do stupid things...I know this is part of the BI. Neuro appt in March maybe they will have some more ideas....Mom

Finding real friends is a big partof it, Wade doesnt seek any out.
Helikes thepeople he does his volunteer work with,and many of them are on disabiliti
y too for various reasons,I think itisa goodstart for him.

Hehas someonecoming fromDale BRaininjury twicea month now,thatis a volunteergroup that helpsadjust to life ,socializing, work etc...I amsohopeful.

Momoftbi, senior year was so difficult for my son. It sounds like j has her priorities straight, which is huge. The fall is a natural transition time after graduation, with many people looking to make new friends. Hopefully j will find some new, true friends then. Will she be going to school at all after hs? I'm sorry but I'm not familiar with her situation.

Normaeh, that's great that wade has found some buddies where he volunteers, AND that volunteer organization sounds wonderful. They have a similar organization near us - I will see if my son is interested. Maybe he's ready to take that step at this point in time. Thanks for the tip! And I do hope that wade is able to slowly but safely begin to reach out a bit more. It is so hard to see how isolating life is for our children and husbands. But I agree that it sounds like he's off to a good start. Baby steps...

Hugs,
HayMom