The Tea Room Community Group
This is a private group by invitation only. It is a group for those who have a loved one with a brain injury. This group was not founded by me but I will serve as the founder temporarily as one of the first members.
I start this off by saying I am sick of my sons issues ! I mean I could probably deal with the brain injury alone but adding drug use in the mix is more than I can take. He comes home today with a friend and he is so wasted that he can barely walk and stand up. He then sits in the bathroom and falls alseep all hunched over on the toilet . Who knows how long he was in that position. His girlfriend and I had to take their baby to the doctor for a checkup and he was left alone. I was pretty livid. I called his friend and asked what kind of drug he did and i was told heroin. He wont ask for help or take any suggestions from his dad or I. He knows it all.........or he thinks he does. All he says is that nobody can help him because they haven't yet. I think he wants a miracle cure and not do the work that is required with being sober. He keeps digging a hole deeper and deeper. I am starting to feel that I will not be able to help him at all. I am sure he will overdose and not make it.
I wish I had money to send him to a rehab..........but I dont so that is not going to happen anytime soon.
So I wait and pray and thats all I can do.
hugs...pam
I wish I had money to send him to a rehab..........but I dont so that is not going to happen anytime soon.
So I wait and pray and thats all I can do.
hugs...pam
I sooo feel your pain and frustration on this issue with your son.... I received a phone call today that my Older Brother is in the V.A. Hospital due to a infection he now has from a gunshot wound he received back in 2011... right after Tims accident.... my brother was on "SOMETHING" thought he heard people outside his house grabbed a gun, secured the premisis.... there was NO ONE there just the drugs making him think it.... when he went to put the gun away he ended up shooting himself in the shoulder.... how one does that I will NEVER know... my brother is trained in guns, he was over in Desert Storm back in the 90's he knows better.....
My father and I had a discussion today about my brothers behavior and we both agreed that we have done EVERYTHING for him that we can DO.... he doesn't take advice from anyone.... he does what he wants and he doesn't care who it hurts.... my neice and nephew who are 17 and 20 have turned into HIS parents and they HIDE everything he does.... they shield him....it makes me ILL!!!
About a month ago we were goingup by his place to have dinner with some friends and Tim wanted to stop by and see Billy, he hadn't seen Billy since before his accident.... and of coarse my BROTHER NEVER went out of his way to come see my husband..... well we get there, it is 11am on a Saturday... my brother literally stumbles out of the front door.... he can't stand upright, or even stand still, he was like doing this flopping thing back and forth.... The final straw for me was when he was telling Tim about the Doctor that operated on his arm and what a jerk he was.... my brother says I got something for him... and he WHIPS A GUN OUT OF HIS PANTS right in FRONT OF MY LITTLE!!!!!!! I just told my dad about that today also.... my father has beenhaving breathing issues and heart issues, and I just didn'twant to upset him with my visit to my brother, but I told him today.....
Sweet sister, your son needs to WANT the help you can offer him, as hard as it is for me to say, you can not make a drug addicted person do ANYTHING UNLESS they want too.... it sucks I know, but just keep being there for his as much as you can.... that way if something were to happen to him, then you know you at least did your best...
In our situation, my dad and I both agreed that we have done all we can do for Billy and now we are just basically waiting for a phone call that he has died.... it sounds brutal I know... but we have put up with his selfishness for YEARS and his behavior is that of a 18 year old instead of a 47 year old......
I will definately be praying for you.... Remember.... Nobody can help him if he doesn't want to be helped....
Love you.... :)
LynDee
Well today is another day and I am hoping for the best !
Thanks you guys for allowing me to vent and giving me support !
hugs...pam
We were not raised this way either.... :(
My brother was at one point a very successful business owner....he had his own Heating and Air Conditioning Company... a wife of 21 years and 2 children....plus many extra toys, motorcycles, corvettes.... he was the PRODICAL SON and I lived in his shadow in my Fathers Eyes.....
Although he didn't suffer a head injury (that we know of....we feel his Military Experience REALLY SCREWED HIM UP) In a recent conversation with his now X-wife she told me for years he has been on the edge... she couldn't deal with his craziness anymore and LEFT him.... that's when he really got BAD.... the business went bankrupt, he lost his kids, wife and ALL his posessions that meant so much to him..... I have no IDEA how he even pays his bills as he is not working and neither is THAT WOMAN he now has living with him....
I am sharing this story with you to let you know you are NOT alone in this struggle with an Addict, and it is ok to make excuses for him.... we did it for YEARS... and your protecting your son is what mothers do... I am so sorry that his Head injury has brought him to this, and I am sure he ask himself alot "WHY ME???"
I am Praying for your family for Peace and for this DEMON called Addiction to let your family go....
Hang in there....
Love,
Lyndee
A friend of my sons recieved help from Teen Challenged he was drugged out and drunk all the time stealing etc... Between the judge and his parentshe ended up agreeing to go, and what alife transformation.he had been so bad that my kids would not even see him back then.
I tell youthat there is hope never give up but dont enable him either. Its the hardest thing one ever can do. Tough lvesucks and has to be donecorrectly too or even worse consequences.
Is there any way for a group to sit with him and lay the cards out on the table about the path he has chosen and will end up???Done in loveof course.
oh hang on love you have went through so very much.
norma