That's a good question. My therapist has asked me if I would be as hard on a friend as I am to myself. Would I say, 'buck up and deal with it?'...of course not. Would I tell them they were useless and a waste of oxygen?...never!

Nurturing myself is so much more difficult than others. So...nope, I wouldn't keep someone close who treated me this way.

This is good for me to think about before heading to see my shrink in an hour. Thanks for posting this, Dix!

Hugs and clucks...

Good thought, Dixie. I would not let some friend talk to me the way I talk to myself. I would consider the friend to be cruel. It's a very good point. I was told years ago that I am my own worst enemy. Now, I really get it.

I am learning to love myself. It's been a long time coming.

((((HUGS))))

very good food for thought. i know i treat others much better than myself. i try, but forget. i will make a more conscious effort.

So why is it ok to treat ourselves so badly?

Is it because we are too busy taking care of others? Sometimes for me.

I think a lot of it is because of expectations. For a clean house, good mom, good meals, charity, ect.

I'll tell you something I learned about a clean house. I have to admit I do love my house clean...who doesn't, and I do try....too hard to keep it this way because it affects my mental state. But......when your house is a mess, and you have company coming or show up on the spur of the moment....don't stress over it! When people come into a really clean and neat home....they are more uncomfortable than when they come into a home that is messed up. When it isn't perfect....they are more comfortable, more relieved to know that they don't have to be 'careful' and more at ease and feel less guilt about their own homes being in a mess.

Cooking for company......same ideas. My favorite place to go to eat is my SIL's. She fixes the simplest and easiest meals and they are delicious, stress free and comfortable and homey feeling. I LOVE it!

I have always put myself last. It is a difficult question. I respect myself and try to take care of myself but I just feel the need to put the family and friends first.

Since I have had so much more pain and new illness I have learned to stop. I have had to stop. Nothing like being in a wheelchair for 3 months and not being able to walk to slow you down.

I guess the answer is I still will drop anything no matter how I feel when a grandchild needs me.

For the past few years I have been on a quest to be good to me. I look at it as if I am good to myself and make that effort to be as positive as possible about myself then I have much more of me to share/offer to others.

I have my off days but overall I think i've come along way from where and who I was.

Dixie you are so right it is more comfortable to be in a home that isn't spotless and to eat those simple meals.

Hugs,
Toni