The Forgotten Ones Community Group
Do you have a family member who is a sex offender, and it ripped your entire world apart? This is for the silent, forgotten victims. The mothers, wives, children, family. You blame yourself, you carry the shame, you feel the weight of it. Come here to talk with others who have been through it. Remember it isnt your fault. And you arent the only one.
On February 22 of this year, my husband made a video of my daughter, his step-daughter, while she was in the shower. This man was the love of my life. He and I shared a closeness that neither of us had experienced before and that we treasured with every fiber of our very beings. We were nothing less than codependent - couldn't be apart for anything other than work - and we work together - we own and operate our own company, so that wasn't often. We were desperately in love, we had plans for the rest of our lives, and truly had a partnership in every way. We have five other children between us in our blended family, all boys, ranging in age from 2 to 16. My daughter is 12.
He swears up and down that he had no sexual intentions but that he was only curious about how she looked. I know this is a lie he is telling both himself and everyone else. The day that it happened I told him he had to leave, and the next day he reported himself to a therapist, who reported him to the police. The ensuing weeks have been a whirlwind during which he was arrested and spent a day in jail before my parents, in support of me and our children, put up their house to make the $50,000 bail that was put upon him, and allowed him to move into their basement so that we can continue to operate our business, at least for now, because it's the only source of income that we have.
He never saw the video - my daughter found it herself and brought it to me. The police have confiscated the phone with which he made the video as well as the computer onto which I downloaded it before I deleted it and returned to him his phone. My new life consists of me watching my daughter to be sure that she's okay, watching the boys and dealing with how they miss him and are confused because they don't know why he's gone, supervising visits between the boys and him because he can no longer be alone with any of our children, single-momming all the children everywhere they need to go, taking people to therapists, talking to lawyers and Child Protective Services and police officers, trying to get my husband the help that he needs...and at the same time holding at bay the horror, anger, terror, tears, depression, and everyone other emotion that comes up every day so that I can keep going.
I am so scared of so many things. I don't know what I want from the future. I'm grateful to have found this group and I hope it's okay for me to be here even though he is not officially a "registered sex offender" and I have not turned my back on him. Things are still so fresh here. I am just looking for others who might be living a similar nightmare.
He swears up and down that he had no sexual intentions but that he was only curious about how she looked. I know this is a lie he is telling both himself and everyone else. The day that it happened I told him he had to leave, and the next day he reported himself to a therapist, who reported him to the police. The ensuing weeks have been a whirlwind during which he was arrested and spent a day in jail before my parents, in support of me and our children, put up their house to make the $50,000 bail that was put upon him, and allowed him to move into their basement so that we can continue to operate our business, at least for now, because it's the only source of income that we have.
He never saw the video - my daughter found it herself and brought it to me. The police have confiscated the phone with which he made the video as well as the computer onto which I downloaded it before I deleted it and returned to him his phone. My new life consists of me watching my daughter to be sure that she's okay, watching the boys and dealing with how they miss him and are confused because they don't know why he's gone, supervising visits between the boys and him because he can no longer be alone with any of our children, single-momming all the children everywhere they need to go, taking people to therapists, talking to lawyers and Child Protective Services and police officers, trying to get my husband the help that he needs...and at the same time holding at bay the horror, anger, terror, tears, depression, and everyone other emotion that comes up every day so that I can keep going.
I am so scared of so many things. I don't know what I want from the future. I'm grateful to have found this group and I hope it's okay for me to be here even though he is not officially a "registered sex offender" and I have not turned my back on him. Things are still so fresh here. I am just looking for others who might be living a similar nightmare.
deleted_user
Wow I feel all the the things you have felt On the 18th of June 2011 I was sitting in my conservatory having my cup of tea with my then 15 year old daughter from my previous relationship when my 4 year old son came to tell me my friend was at the door when I got there it was a lone plain clothes police officer aking if I knew the wereabouts of my eldest dughter. He entered the house at my invitation and asked to speak to my daughter it ended with my partner of over 10 years being arrested for charges of indecent behaviour towards my eldest child . I have a further 3 children with this man and like you thought it was forever, I also do not have the wish to support him and have been left to care for 4 children 3 of wich are under 7 the youngest was under a year at the time. I have been desperately seeking some one who could possibly understand I appreciate this group have no recent posts but would appreciate a reply best wishes and hugs of hope to you allxxxxxxxxxxx
ewetherford
I have searched for a long time for a support group for families of sex offenders. Although the knowledge of ex husband's crimes came after we divorced, the horror and shame and anxiety has been part of my life since the day I discovered the truth. It makes me nauseous and my head spins any time I think of it.
ewetherford
P.S. In my reading and searching for some answers I have come to believe that very few offenders can be rehabilitated. Lying, minimizing, and denial is typical of the offender, who's impulses to abuse children and teens and even other adults. are always in play, looking for possible targets.
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