aka The Foods I Ate
or
Confection is Good for the Soul.

Lately in my journal I've been moaning about this year's last-minute classroom setup. Due to a series of Summer Occupants, unfortunate roofing events (a case of BAD shingles, and fortunately not a bad CASE of shingles), regurgitating pipes (use your imagination, you won't be far off), and other miscellaneous Events (and Persons) Beyond Our Control, the custodial staff has been working their tails off. The school secretary even commented on it at our meeting this morning. "None of them has any tail at all."

Consequently the summer cleaning schedule is w-a-a-a-a-y behind. My room is going to be cleaned tomorrow. Friday. The kids come back on Tuesday. That means I have exactly three days (yes, I can, and will, go in on the weekend) to get it ready. No time to brace for the annual September Mountain Beast of Paperwork ("Back, get BACK, foul creature - I have a shredder and a recycle bin in here and I'm not afraid to use them!")

So yes, the pressure's on. I've already had the back-to-school anxiety dreams (don't get them every year), including the "they moved my classroom to the wing scheduled for demolition," the "you're teaching Obscure Russian Literature in the Original Language and Calculus at the High School this year," and the classic "I've gone to school naked and everyone is too polite to mention that I should go home and dress." Someone asked me what my stress level was like, and I said, "well, this morning I had a full head of hair."

Today, bless them, today, the PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) brought in food. Not just food, FOOD. (to the tune of Tanz from Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yWXEKYj39fY)

Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches,
Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches and soda
(again!)
Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches,
Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches and soda

Salads, wraps and cookies,
Pasta, grapes, strawberries
Cola, Seltzer,
cookies, salads, cookies,
chocolate, chocolate

Refrain:
Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches,
Pizza, pizza, pizza, sandwiches and soda

Let's do the math: After five hours of sleep (bad dreams) one teacher leaves for work at 6:00 AM, traveling at an average speed of 30 mph. Slightly ADD, he sits through a hundred hours of meetings (oh, alright, three and a half), foot waggling because (like his first graders) he can't sit still. The three cups of coffee, skipped breakfast and full bladder don't help. All undone physical work required in his room, about seven days of labor, increases the foot speed by a factor of 2 for every hour of delay. If his Principal and Department Head assign him career evaluation assessments in addition to state-mandated recertification requirements within 10 minutes of each other, how long will it take for him to eat everything in sight?

The ham and pineapple slices were pretty good, though I did enjoy the broccoli mushroom ones later. Turkey wrap with cranberry sauce, half-sub with prosciutto, basil and tomato (that was the good stuff, better pronounce it toe-MAH-toe), tuna wrap. Leftovers in the cafeteria fridge? Coupla trips there in the afternoon. I don't need to review the macadamia nuts covered in dark chocolate, speaks for itself. The lemon cookies were tasty, as were the oatmeal raisin and the brownie, but the chocolate cookie with crystallized ginger chunks was outstanding. Oh, and because I need to watch my diet I had lemon seltzer, because heaven forbid I should drink anything full of sugar.

I'll try to behave tomorrow!