Hi. Im a first time empty nester. First time in 25 years i haven't had a kid in toe or by my side.  All of this is happening while I am watching my grandmother that raised me get lost to Alzheimers and my family basically falling apart on that side.  Its pretty much the only family I have so I feel completely alone. My daughter is 24 and is living in China teaching English.  My son moved to Colorado hoping to find a job he was more interested in than what was offered here locally.  I set up for Christmas because it is my favorite holiday but right now i want to put it all away.  i want everything to go away.  I am struggling so hard to make it day to day and I don't know what to do.  Im hoping someone is out there.  ive never gone any major length of time without my kids.  especially not both of them.  My husband and I have only been married for 4 years....together for 7.  I was a single parent for most of their lives.  So he doesn't understand what I am going through.  So I don't really talk to him about it because he just looks confused.  i can't put it into words how I feel like the world is falling apart.  I feel like so many things just dont matter any more.  My son isn't a phone person.  Im lucky if he texts me first.  My daughter is so busy and is 14 hours ahead of me so it is nearly impossible for us to regularly coordiate time for me and her to talk.  Either she is at work and its my evening or I am asleep and it is her evening...or she is asleep and it is my morning........its a mess.