The Den Community Group
Pull up a chair and put your feet up. Lie down if necessary! :)
Hello Everyone,
I posted this over at PEACE but will copy it here, too.
I have missed all of you and think of you often so my Easter treat to myself today is popping in here to see how everyone is doing, wish you a blessed Easter, Passover, Spring or whatever as you spring into new joy and new life. And a quick catchup about me.
I've been really busy having taken that 2nd job--that was supposed to be 20 - 30 hours a week plus my own business. Yeah right. I worked 44 hours last week plus my business. But enjoying it, managing time wise and making money. Hopefully that will help pay for a new car. I'm doing a lot of traveling, staying in cool little places, BnBs, interesting hotels. I won't get to go to Hawaii because my boss took over my duties there..so wrong of her. Do not like her but she is being verrrry cooperative about everything else because she knows it is not right what she did.
Someone here, said to me when I struggled about doing this " what are you running away from?" Nothing really just running to that new car. But, I have to say I have not had any time for anyone including thinking about my kids or wondering if I should be doing this or that. That has been a blessing because I realized how happy I am when I do not have to deal with them. Even Easter which is normally hard on me has not even been on my radar.. I did not even send out little Easter goodies to the grandkids this year and I do not even feel guilty. I'm in oblivion... Kinda like they seem to be about me around the holidays. Is this Karma? A gift to me to detach me even further? Whatever it is, it is good.
About my son: very intresting. gave him the agreement that I paid a butt load to get written up. ( his gifting me a downpayment for a house) His proposal to me, his terms and conditions which he had no concerns about, did not want to consult a professional about, sounds good mom. Then, when time to sign on the dotted line and put his money where his mouth was.....he suddenly has concerns, wants to change the terms and conditions, consult an attorney and now has come up with a whole other proposal which I can not accept. So..I learned the truth about him..nothing's changed he is still playing his same old control and stonewaling games. BUT I am free! Feeling sad though that he can not possibly be when he can not say what he means and means what he says, does not follow through and keeps changing the game plan mid stream. WHAT A .........WHAT"S A GOOD WORD? ASSHOLE? Jerk?, LIttle Shit..Thanks Hog. He did the same thing with his former girlfriend for eight years till she nearly lost her sense of reality.
Peter Pan story time: My oldest ED sent me a copy of the book they are reading on Skype but I have not had a moment to get myself Skyped or do the story time.
Realizing that the less I have to do with my kids the better I am, the more peaceful is my life. The less I am emotionally involved the better. I am sooo detached. Kinda sad but freeing at the same time. I just do not care anymore. Because I just do not want any more heartbreak. If they come around great if not......I'm OK. Not how I hoped things would be but this is what is. My youngest daughter is back to I love you Momma, we talk on the phone but she broke my heart for the last time two years ago and will never do that again...because I am so detached now.
My life now is full of people who appreciate me, treat me with respect and if they do not......they do not get to be close to me. I have friends but do not have family--the kind that you know you have each other's back through thick and thin til death do you part. I would like that with someone but til then I have it with myself....and my cat. HA!
Sending lots of love to all of you. You guys are the greatest and this is a most amazing place to be. LOVE YOU!
I posted this over at PEACE but will copy it here, too.
I have missed all of you and think of you often so my Easter treat to myself today is popping in here to see how everyone is doing, wish you a blessed Easter, Passover, Spring or whatever as you spring into new joy and new life. And a quick catchup about me.
I've been really busy having taken that 2nd job--that was supposed to be 20 - 30 hours a week plus my own business. Yeah right. I worked 44 hours last week plus my business. But enjoying it, managing time wise and making money. Hopefully that will help pay for a new car. I'm doing a lot of traveling, staying in cool little places, BnBs, interesting hotels. I won't get to go to Hawaii because my boss took over my duties there..so wrong of her. Do not like her but she is being verrrry cooperative about everything else because she knows it is not right what she did.
Someone here, said to me when I struggled about doing this " what are you running away from?" Nothing really just running to that new car. But, I have to say I have not had any time for anyone including thinking about my kids or wondering if I should be doing this or that. That has been a blessing because I realized how happy I am when I do not have to deal with them. Even Easter which is normally hard on me has not even been on my radar.. I did not even send out little Easter goodies to the grandkids this year and I do not even feel guilty. I'm in oblivion... Kinda like they seem to be about me around the holidays. Is this Karma? A gift to me to detach me even further? Whatever it is, it is good.
About my son: very intresting. gave him the agreement that I paid a butt load to get written up. ( his gifting me a downpayment for a house) His proposal to me, his terms and conditions which he had no concerns about, did not want to consult a professional about, sounds good mom. Then, when time to sign on the dotted line and put his money where his mouth was.....he suddenly has concerns, wants to change the terms and conditions, consult an attorney and now has come up with a whole other proposal which I can not accept. So..I learned the truth about him..nothing's changed he is still playing his same old control and stonewaling games. BUT I am free! Feeling sad though that he can not possibly be when he can not say what he means and means what he says, does not follow through and keeps changing the game plan mid stream. WHAT A .........WHAT"S A GOOD WORD? ASSHOLE? Jerk?, LIttle Shit..Thanks Hog. He did the same thing with his former girlfriend for eight years till she nearly lost her sense of reality.
Peter Pan story time: My oldest ED sent me a copy of the book they are reading on Skype but I have not had a moment to get myself Skyped or do the story time.
Realizing that the less I have to do with my kids the better I am, the more peaceful is my life. The less I am emotionally involved the better. I am sooo detached. Kinda sad but freeing at the same time. I just do not care anymore. Because I just do not want any more heartbreak. If they come around great if not......I'm OK. Not how I hoped things would be but this is what is. My youngest daughter is back to I love you Momma, we talk on the phone but she broke my heart for the last time two years ago and will never do that again...because I am so detached now.
My life now is full of people who appreciate me, treat me with respect and if they do not......they do not get to be close to me. I have friends but do not have family--the kind that you know you have each other's back through thick and thin til death do you part. I would like that with someone but til then I have it with myself....and my cat. HA!
Sending lots of love to all of you. You guys are the greatest and this is a most amazing place to be. LOVE YOU!
Sometimes they are afraid to be needed so when we no longer do they are much more loving. Perhaps this will be the case for you and if not you sound like you will be fine goood in fact