The Circle Community Group
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Hi all,
I am getting rather frustrated with a couple friends who are not really getting my current state of health. My one friend from Fla told me to call him because he ll be in town in october. I talk on the phone 40 hours a week! Some days i lose my voice by 1130 am, the last thing i want to do is come home and yak on the phone. This particular friend will talk for an HOUR about himself and then the last 2 min ask how im doing. He is a narcissist. I dont have all day to talk about him, he has been very incaring about my brain injury
My other friend is a very good friend who is going thru a divorce and his dad had a stroke.i know he wants to talk. I plan to call him. I did text him that i myself was sick and would call him asap. He knows my condition. He didnt have the decency to respond to my text. He also has been very uncaring regarding my condition.
Am i wrong to expect a two way street of caring? I dont have time for people like this. My wife says they are narcissists. When my sister calls to talk about her husband dying of cancer i answer. I try and come online and support my friends here and everywhere. Talking on the phone gives me a huge headache and negates my medicatons.
Am i wrong? Do others feel this way? Needed to vent.
Martin
I am getting rather frustrated with a couple friends who are not really getting my current state of health. My one friend from Fla told me to call him because he ll be in town in october. I talk on the phone 40 hours a week! Some days i lose my voice by 1130 am, the last thing i want to do is come home and yak on the phone. This particular friend will talk for an HOUR about himself and then the last 2 min ask how im doing. He is a narcissist. I dont have all day to talk about him, he has been very incaring about my brain injury
My other friend is a very good friend who is going thru a divorce and his dad had a stroke.i know he wants to talk. I plan to call him. I did text him that i myself was sick and would call him asap. He knows my condition. He didnt have the decency to respond to my text. He also has been very uncaring regarding my condition.
Am i wrong to expect a two way street of caring? I dont have time for people like this. My wife says they are narcissists. When my sister calls to talk about her husband dying of cancer i answer. I try and come online and support my friends here and everywhere. Talking on the phone gives me a huge headache and negates my medicatons.
Am i wrong? Do others feel this way? Needed to vent.
Martin
good luck! i hope they come through for you.
big hugs!
I have messenger on my phone. A pm from fb pops up and I can answer in a minute or two. It avoids long phone convo's. My Mother and Jeb are the only two with any length.
You have the right to be pissed at the narcissistic friends...personally have cut convo's short with, "" need to keep this short as....glad you are doing.....I'm.......and ...........talk later. Bye".......fill in the blanks.
Yeah i dont mean to be a bah humbug but i respect other peoples time and expect the same. If i call someone who i know is busy or sick i always ask "is this a good time to talk". As i said my sister marilyn calls alot lately but thats b/c her husband is sick and she needs my help. But even SHE says oh Martin you better get some rest you have to go to work. That is respect.
I hate to lose old friends but if they dont get with the program then im gonna have to ignore them. They re just old drinking buddies anyway so im not really in that stage anymore. Crusty old 50 year old that i am
M
As for your buddies, I have to keep telling myself that people just don't understand. They have headaches and take an aspirin, have backaches and take a Tylenol, etc. It's easy to think that should work for you too and not understand why it doesn't. CP teaches us compassion that others won't ever know.
I also know some of my friends are in a bit of denial of what's happened to me. They want that fun, carefree girl back and I can't blame them. I do too.
I understand... Unfortunately.
I hope your friends come around.
Love ya buddy. Have a good night's sleep tonight!
I totally get where you are coming from. I have lost a few friendships since I can't be the person they seem to want me to be anymore. Although a little sad that they didn't think I was worth it to them I also think my life is more stress free without their issues. So a win for me.
At least then you will have room in your life for more people who do understand and want to be your true friend.
I hope your family are going ok and you are not too exhausted from helping. Rest well if you can.
Nessa
Hugs,
Toni