..I'm really at a loss.
Thought it would be better today with meds

..if not angry..
I'm terrified.
..that can't be a great combo.

( I am.. of course.. grateful as well.)

I'd be angry too honey! You have every right to be angry and grateful! God understands why your angry, he'll you wouldn't be normal if you weren't. I wish you could get some rest though, but I totally understand rest doesn't really matter when you're worried about someone you love. Just breathe slowly honey, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Sometimes listening to easy music through headphones relaxes me enough to get a little sleep.

I'm here if you need to talk honey

Luv ya!

Xoxoxo

Mary Ellen

..I've been about a week with only a couple of hrs sleep a night.
I'm too old and unwell to function like that.
What will happen to my daughter and grandson if I collapse?

..I think I need medical help..
This just CAN'T go on.. for their sake.

Thanks, Fay.

I see you're not sleeping, either. I'm sorry, freind

Honey if you need medical help, please get it. If you're not well, you can't take care of them honey. No, I'm not sleeping well either. I'll keep you in my prayers

Xoxo

jc, you have so much to be angry and worried about. I just hope that you find peace long enough to get your much needed rest. Remember that you need to take care of yourself in order to be available to those who need your help.

Gentle hugs

..just ir ore this, please..I'm just tired

jc, i understand your anger and vulnerability and these two come out even more with sleep deprivation. and that 10 day med vacation. your body has too many adjustments. i think seeing the PA is a good idea to start to find help.

you have to get some sleep, so if you're not on something to help that, try some melatonin for now. i'd drink lemon water every morning, too. it can really help.

it's going to take a while to get those meds stable in your system.

love you so and hope you''re sleeping now. want you to feel much better asap. big hugs n hope, s~

Lovely lady.....when you have so much going around in your mind 100 miles an hour it is impossible to sleep and I can only imagine that everything that you have been feeling, thinking and experiencing must be going around 200 miles an hour.

Medical help, spiritual help, friends help, or even help from the magic man on the mountain. If you need it, go get it.

JC if you are sticking your hand up to say you think you might be needing some help then that is serious and please I do hope that you seek it. Understandably you must be also having some anger and fears around what ifs and maybes and what nows too. It wouldn't hurt to chat to someone about those feelings. Whoever that someone might be.

It's healthy to take a bit of time to be thoughtful to yourself. (so my pain dr tells me).

I wish you better and happier days ahead. And for your family.

BTW - aren't you my age? Which is not old!! ;)

jc, I don't even know where to start. I'm so sorry everything in your's and Jaime's life has been turned on a dime. I'm glad you're going to see the PA. All the medical issues you have going on and now this life changing event. I think you're walking through it with grace. Just reading what you've posted about Jaime's initial treatment pisses me off.

I can't offer any suggestions to help you go through all the mine fields. I've not been there. Just know you wll continue to have my undying support. You are loved. Hugs, Dianna

You know how you chastise/discipline some children, only to have them go off on a long and lengthy protest? Most parents usually let that ramble to simple play out. Listening but not really absorbing or letting that ramble affect them, just letting that child vent without reacting...Try and do this with your anger, see it as the child and you the parent, patiently thinking to yourself, "are you done with your vent yet"!? Normally I'd be sharing how to release anger, but that causes the body stress, something you definitely don't need right now.

That justifiable anger and the issues surrounding it, will be addressed, down the road.

I agree with the others to get some help. You're a smart person, who knows where they're going if something doesn't change, yet it's your call....do it for YOU!!

From My Heart to Yours...

Thanks everyone, for your, as always, unwavering support.
Luvnhugs

JC, I can't imagine how you must feel. The combination of everything you have going on is unreal. Just the care and worry for your daughter is daunting in itself. Add illness, med holiday and no sleep and it has to be hell for you right now.

I'm glad you have the wonderful folks here to hold you up through this. You are not alone.
Lots of love and hugs, Vicky

jc im so sorry i think you have pstd this is common problem not to sleep you have had a lots to deal with , you have right
to be angry hon really angry i wish i could find the words to bring you com front try ear phone music no words
then they need you to sleep ,to stay strong even if your nor feeling it call doc leet then know what has been going on they can help love you tons hugs min