The situation dictates which gender. The other day at a salmon bake I realized I tend to converse with the guys. This is a group with friendships over 60 years and our parents were friends. In college the guys, too.

Perhaps the intimate conversations I have are in quiet with my closest gal friends of long standing. We can discuss situations germane to us uniquely as women.

So I am bi-friendly.

My closest friends are women. I used to think I talked better with men. Women know how other women think and they understand the emotional side, which the men DON'T. In a given situation, especially if it's emotional, men tend to tell me what I want to hear, not what I need to hear.

I don't discriminate.............but women do have that emotional connection and aren't afraid to voice themselves with each other.

But........I've had many males friends open up to me also and just treat me like one of the guys. They can be afraid of what their significant others or new arrivals think about it though. To me a friend is a friend, through thick and thin.

" Women ~ Too "

women I get better along with

Whew,

Loaded question I guess. I like men when watching football and women when swimming in a hot tub so I guess it is situational. Men DONT get the emotional side. I sure do whew. No wonder I am so popular with the gals, apparently my fellow men are lacking :)!

Martin

i really do not have friends in real life im not sure why silly huh

I seem to find myself attracted to women when in a crisis situation
I find myself feeling more willing to expose myself and trust a women
Which I just don't do very often with anyone, male or female.
For me risking exposure with anyone is a very frightening thing
My therapist and I discussed these things often
Exposing myself even to my spouse has become a frightening thing for me
The idea of exposing ones self while knowing you will be belittled and/ or judged
It's just more than I can deal with these days ,
In a shitload of ways I am just to f,,king tired to keep up the facade
Learning how to express myself while not eating the guilt that is always returned
and not feeling like shit for weeks afterwords trying to understand how I am at fault
Quite honestly at times I really feel/think like I'm going crazy
I really try to be up beat, but living such a huge lie, it's just getting to be a bit much.

I know staying in this situation is a choice that I make,
However It just exhausts me sometimes
And also I worry so for my daughters.
V is right there with me on this,
Their success is very important to us both.
I put their success just below V and mines...not by much.
V told me several years ago that it was the girls above me
That I had done quite enough...

I have looked for a male therapist
I have not however had much success in this

Sorry I have gone off on a???
Anyhow thanks to you all

Peace and easy dreams
Michael

yeh, I totally get why you don't open up to men (or your wife!). I wouldn't open myself up to ridicule either. It is hard to be vulnerable but if I keep everything inside, it burns from the inside out and I end up behaving inappropriately

Bottom line is this. Regardless of the why's and the wherefore's, we've got your back.

Thank you so much gre8
This means an awful lot

I look for male therapists, however they are far and few between
I've been thinkin about perhaps starting a Men's. Cardiac support group meeting at a local Brewery, perhaps cribbage?
Who knows . Just a thought,
The men that I see are fu,ked up at cardiac rehab
I have been through rehab 7 times each time through 36 sessions
Not once has my mental health been a priority, yet each time my head has been totally been fu.ked up
Most recently in August , my 10 th trip through their cath lab. And 11 th heart intervention

I don't know it seems I'm wondering
You gals are great....
But being a guy,
female therapists just do t work real well,
There are many things that a guy will not say. No matter what to a women
For me there is a respect level that no matter what I might think
I will not cross
Women like men deserve a level of respect
I try to see these boundaries, yet I still find myself conflicted

We all have emotions, ambitions, disappointments, victories. We all want to share, but........... a lot of men think their ying yangers will fall off if they do. Kind of makes it hard to open up to them.

Martin you are so bad..........bet you wouldn't be that way if us girls showed up at your doorstep! Now that pic would be worth a million bucks!

Not silly Minnie, mine scooted a long time ago. CP stays around, but chases others away.

Mike I'm with Diana, why set yourself up. You know something else women are more likely to be than men? Nurturing. Not all, but many and it holds a lot of comfort to know that what you say is going to be backed up by caring.

if we are talking about now ...my husband is my best friend .....I have several women I am good friends with and one of the woman's husbands I am good friends with as well ...........Micheal ......I see what you are saying ...and I have that problem of trying to deside who I can trust with exposing certin things .........what I tend to do is feel people out and that is how I know who I can trust ..and how far ....and than I have to deside if the need is great enough to do it ....or will a counclor do ....sometimes a counclour just isent good enough ........some times what you have inside of you just has to come out .....so you want someone who knowes you good enough to know you tell the truth ......and they will trust you .....and you can trust them .....when I was growing up I was friends with boys who would play in our field baseball and football ....because I liked that ...and girls just dident do that ..I didn't like to play with dolls after I was ..about 8 ...................and when the boys were playing with there big trucks and cars in the sand box ....or just the sand I liked that because I got to make all the roads and houses .....I am am attest and so that I liked to do ........at school I hung out with the girls or stayed to my self .......................I also spent a lot of time to my self under trees that had good shade ...because of my migrains ..............so I am a loner ........I don't keep a lot of friends around me .....I am a realy family person to ......".......................................................................keeping things inside takes a real tool on you ..it is very hard on you it makes you sick .....depressed .....things have to come out ...things that hurt you .......if you are going to realy try to get better ............that is how it has been for me ...............that doesent mean you have to confide in a lot of people ...there are only two people ...I have confided in ....on one subject .....to its complection .......others to lesser extent ....it all helps ....God bless

Hi all:

Mike- heart goes out to you, sorry your mental health has not gotten the proper attention. that is a shame. I think women therapists are probably more nurturing. You should start that mens group.
Toni- Come on over to my house! We'll have a party. Food driinks and good conversation. I must warn you though my wife of 18 years is a hairdresser. For 8 hours a day women tell her their secrets while sitting in her chair. So I know all your secrets and what your minds are up to. Be careful! j/k

Martin

Mike great idea on the cardiac support group. Men do have their own way to camaraderie with each to get their points across. We all know to clearly around here about the mental side of health problems. Go for it!

Mr Martin darn it I forgot you know our secrets, but you're forgetting we know yours too ;) Wooooo weeee! and a howdy do to you! Though your wife can style my hair all she wants :)