The Cheaters Community Group

Hard to find a support group for the ones who did the cheating..... If you are sorry for your mistakes, want to be a better partner/person and can't find anyone to accept your apologies, we will here!

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/ The Cheaters Support Group

I Am The Cheater

AshamedCheater
AshamedCheater

I have been With my husband for 5 and a half years now. We'll be married for 2 yeara next month. I've been meeting random strangers online and talking to them. Both conversation and sexually. I've been caught twice. And I do not want to know what will happen if I go back to my ways again. I know I love my husband. And we have a beautiful daughter together. I can see myself being with him forever. I want to grow and build an empire with him. He's just a brick wall. A 6 foot, inward, not very emotional black man. I'm surprised, honestly, he's stayed with me. Last night was the first time since he caught me that I made a post on whisper to go back to my mentally cheating ways. I've never physically cheated. Although its still just as bad as what I did I don't want these things to happen again. Besides lacking communication with me and being very emotionless he has done nothing to harm me or my daughter, works hard for our family. He just doesn't voice his feelings, doesn't call me sexy, doesn't say "I love you" because his "actions speak louder than words". And the funny thing is I suspected HIM of cheating all the time. I checked his phone, Xbox, everything. Followed him. Just to make sure he wasn't. And over 5 years he's never done anything. But....I want to hear those things. It sucks I've screwed up our relationship for some words from strangers. But I don't want to do it again and I can't afford therapy....I don't know what to do. Even though he says this is my last chance and we are still together I just want to die. It's taking everything in me to not just go grab a knife and end all the problems I'm causing.....I need help. I want to become better. I want to not be so selfish...

cheating4support1993
cheating4support1993
I get you!
Lila2002
Lila2002
My husband and I did get to go to therapy after I cheated the second time. You have to be an open book. This also means your feelings. You have to be able to talk to him and let him know that you need him to express his feelings verbally. Let him know how you're feeling with all of this. Believe me when I say I felt the same way about just wanting to end it. Just make sure to let him know that's just how you're feeling and you wouldn't actually go through with it. Those feelings can be very strong and very overwhelming. I speak from experience. Sometimes the way I cope with it all is to write. I jot down something every day, whether it's something good, something bad, or just how I'm feeling that day and maybe the reasons why. It helps so much to get those feelings out, especially when you don't have someone to say them to. If you're like me, you feel like they probably don't want to hear it. So write it and allow them to read it any time they want. Let him know that's what you're doing. Maybe it will give him more insight and let him see that you need him to talk and communicate more. Maybe he could do the same thing. I've been at it for 7 years, trying to make up for what I did. It's slow going and he doesn't communicate or share his feelings the way he used to and he probably never will. We are trying to make a new "normal" for ourselves and our family.