Hard to find a support group for the ones who did the cheating..... If you are sorry for your mistakes, want to be a better partner/person and can't find anyone to accept your apologies, we will here!
Thank you for creating this group. I try to search a lot for one. I am 20 yrs old girl in a 5 yr relationship with a sweet and loving guy. My problem is...well I cheat. Not cheated. I cheat repeatedly. And I want to stop but I fail to. Perhaps it will help knowing a bit about me...I have considered seeing psychologist, but at the moment I am a bit low on money and will need to wait another month or so. Meanwhile I am trying to establish why I cheat and how I can stop. When I say I cheat repeatedly- 2 yrs ago I liked this guy and kept seeing him despite the fact i had boyfriend. The guy knew i had boyfriend, I have never lied about that. Cut a short story long, I slept with him. The guilt almost tore me apart and i promised to never do it again. Few months ago I met a guy who admitted he liked me, again despite the fact he knew I had a boyfriend...i have not slept with this guy, but have come close to. I am not even sure why I do it! My boyfriend is all I can want, he is such a good person. Yet he is punished by being with me. I think I am the most awful human on this planet. I am trying to establish the reasons and make this stop...if I cant save this relationship....my boyfriend does not know, I will never tell him as this is too much for him to hear. I am considering breaking up with him if I cant change, but without telling him the real reason.
I had a really messed up life as a child. My parents always argued, my father dealt with work stress by drinking and that annoyed my mother too much. I was bullied badly at school as I had larger nose to the point that in the morning I will dread going to school, worrying if they will bully me and in the evening I will dread coming back home worrying if my parents will argue. That created bad confidence issues....I developed an eating disorder in my teens and was always critical of myself. I strongly believed it left me dependent on other people opinions and I gain approval by cheating. With me is not a drunken night stand, it is a pathological disorder and I am so scared I can never be faithful. Please help. I have considered commiting suicide as I simply can not live with this guilt any longer.