That's just nasty of her to do that. Maybe you will want to find somewhere else to volunteer. I am sure there are opportunities elsewhere that would be just as rewarding for you and you wouldn't have to deal with your SIL.

I think she did not handle this correctly. She should have let the caller do her job and let her do all the calls. This might be an indication of how things would be if you both worked in the same organization. I agree with Kathy...separate yourself from professional relationships with your SIL...you do not need the stress of it.

I agree with Kathy and Joyce. It is an indication of how this will continue. On the bright side, at least her true colors,so to speak showed up now then later. I am sure there are other organizations that can use your help.

Unfortunately....THIS is the volunteer opportunity I had my heart set on. And I signed up to volunteer BEFORE she even applied for the paid position. And I know this sounds pretty infantile on my end....but this was MINE.(I have therapy tonight thank goodness) I did something pretty out of character and let her know how much this upset me. She must have been feeling guilty...she just dropped off the volunteer application and insisted on waiting for me to fill it out and hand it back. We shall see if I ever get contacted. One more chance and one more only, because you are right...i don't need the stress. It is so absurd that me wanting to do something worthwhile should get so twisted.....

I am sorry this has become a big pain in the arse....hugs you did right and now maybe look for another thing to do even though this was yours now she has nudged herself in it and it is a matter of income for her...she is going to become a bully then bullshit give it up....hugs

well you did have feeling there COULD be a problem and now you know it is true. for what ever reason. i know what u mean. i have always had good experience with volunteering til last spring thru fall. i volunteered at a no kill kitty shelter. shame is, a few volunteers run the show....and it was awful. i heard why some other volunteers had left this organization, but thought would find out for myself. shame. not sure the actual board members are as involved in this as should be. they run on donations only,,,no state or county help. money and food and volunteers are what keeps or takes care of 85+ kitties in this walk out basement building. one i felt bad for some of the oldest kitties...not in good health and even though they see vet, it is no kill. which means, they lay and suffer til pass. this bothered me so much. then you have who have taken upon them selves to run the show. i was able to learn everything since i have the time. i could go on holidays i have no family. after more than 3 1/2 months 2-3 days a week, i did not go back. and i was there for hours on those days. so Diane M. as much as we want to do this , and kitty shelter was it for me. wanted//needed this outlet. heart set on it, so like you, it was what u wanted first before SIL got there. but maybe best to find something we are as much excited about. .. and move on. some where we will be appreciated and treated well. ((when i was told i did not know how to empty/clean liter boxes, that was it for me)) I think she felt threatened by me..she was 81, had done this for over 20 yrs, 4 days a week..never MISSED .... so when i asked questions said i wanted to learn every thing so i could fill in....(to me to have someone like i offered, was good,,,guess not) if i asked, what ratio do u use to sterlize water bowls, she would ask why i wanted to know. (???) one time when i asked about how long kitties were in quarenteen before being socialized, she asked who sent me there because i asked, do u have log book or training manuel. it still bothers me to this day months later. i loved being there with those kitties. i always did the sick kitty cages spent time with them. and always questioned. i called several times to board member head of volunteers,,no return call. even when there, i had to miss for a funeral out of time, left message but no return calls. so asked and they said good luck, no one calls or makes repairs. sad. real sad. feel so sorry for the kitties there. So i do feel your disappointment. it meant alot to you also..same as for me. i almost felt like i was back at work with all the petty fighting and back stabbing. day volunteers talking finger pointing at night volunteers..etc. log book is to be about cats....most posts were petty on each other. figured if i stayed away few days/weeks, maybe i would see it differently. first day back, was same,,so i left. like i said, other than that one there is SPCA to work with animals. but i have to sign a paper that i am o.k. with pets being killed if not adopted. sorry i could not do that. so i understand how u feel. i did talk to my therapist . since state or county not involved, no one to go to what is going on. the board just slides by with these few running things. two ladies who did meds on my days, feel like i do. wish we all could have worked together on our days... alone... but they were only there to do meds, felt stay for ktties, (they needed med folks, ) but felt like i did also. one lady and i had tears one time. a kitty, Miss Kitty had lived whole life there from baby on. she was very ill. and left to lay til she passed. and i had to clean her bed, try to get her some water, she could not even lift her head. but it is no kill. this was first time i left upset. i tried second time..and same petty stuff. it was either volunteer with animals, pets, or go bk to doing assisted liv nursing home patients visits. maybe in time i can go back and do the later. wish every one could work together.

Koyu and Diane, I feel ya's.
Koyu, your story reminds me of working for school district w autistic, downs, etc preschoolers. There was so much petty nonsense going on, and most were there for themselves, not for kids. No love for the kids. Just pretend. Most were 20'somethings who would go out of their way not to do the work, when teachers were not around. It was ridiculous and the amount of energy that went into watching for teacher to return, to get back to the program was ridiculous and disgusting. That was my first year. I lasted almost 6 years. I stayed for the kids, and put up w all sorts of nonsense. But my health physical and mental couldn't take it anymore. The kids themselves never stressed me, it was the pettiness of coworkers and even the grown ass teachers. Most was for show, the admin's didn't care what went on in the classrooms or about the kids. It was about their careers. And this was something I wanted to do with all my heart. At least I made life better for a few of them in the time I was there. If you ever want to see the true "nasty" in someone, see them around vulnerable dependent children, elderly, or mentally ill. Then you will see what true evil is all about. They've created a society of walking zombies w no hearts and barely any brains.

Diane, I wouldn't trust your sil to turn in your application. And why is that just happening now? Are you not already a volunteer? Is it her job to review the volunteer applicants?? This concerns me. But I am proud of you for standing up to her and speaking your mind. Whether people like this care about you or not, they do care about what others think about them and do not want their reputations tarnished. Did you sil apply for that job seperately of knowning you wanted to volunteer there?
Good for forgiving and giving second chance. But don't trust her just yet. Follow through w someone else on that application if you can.

Oh, back to Koyu. Is there some organization that investigates "non-profit" organizations books? I would consider reporting them for possible fraud. If these people don't return calls and don't show up and care, it sounds like they are just at the top skimming salaries. Turn em in!
I've seen questionable rescues in my area. A place run to the ground, who didn't seem interested in volunteers. They lived on the property and places like that get lots of donations. It does cost money, but fishy fishy people out there. Another one I called about adopting a particular dog, and the woman just pushed me away, wouldn't even let me meet the dog. Came up w excuse that it needed surgery. I said, I don't care, would like to meet her, while I'm in the area. It's not that far, but 40minute drive. Lady never followed up w me, never sent application, didn't ask any questions about myself and my experience, NOTHING. I'm in a bad mood, so I won't say what I think should happen to these phoneys. I fear the goverment will be killing off the wrong people though. How's that. Yes, sounds paranoid, but my new response to that is, "If you are not paranoid, then you are not paying attention". ;)

i agree with you...call it being paranoid or not, folks better be on toes these days with everything and everyone. sad but way it is. not sure who runs this no kill shelter. You said Koya, above but maybe part of my post is what you meant also. after being there over 3 months, 2-3 days a week, hours every day...thursdays i was there from 8:30in a.m. til way late afternoon.... and then i do not come back and no ph calls. i wanted to call and talk to this bonnie who was head of volunteers left 2 messages no one called back. the lady who was 80 i admire her dedication all those yrs.... and had more to learn, but not once did i get direct answers to any thing. and this Denny who was there same time, cussed whole time either about other evening volunteers or board. i was around this talk since kid, then work so i will be darn if wanted it to hear it out loud while there for hours. he was a miserable unhappy man. i said one time, i can transport kitties to vet if u need help. and wow.... NOPE THAT IS MY JOB. i was taken a back a bit..... like i re thought what i had said and how i had said it. and all i did was offer. one time i asked about a sick kitty.... what vet had said. and he was one who took kitties to vet and talked to vets.... so i knew he knew. he said in mean tone,,,have no idea. so i looked in this log book to see if any update.... and right there in his hand writing was up date. so why not just tell me. ugh. to go other days these same two were there also. so that would not help...and where located, to be there at night, not good.... for sure over winter months being dark so early. just not safe. one lady who helped us during day from evenings, when i asked what all do evening folks do.... making sm talk to get a feel of what all goes on here, all she did was put down day volunteers. so part of me agreed with her. those two to train me were a lot of problem. well i still miss it, still think of some of my fav kitties there. we all had our favs we would visit often while there. before u left give extra hugs etc..... they get away with what they do cuz no state or county involvement. well , had to tell myself, kitties were warm, fed had water etc.....and did see vet as needed. BUT conditions bothered me. and they had been in this walk out basement for good 25 yrs.... guess owner of bldg did give them rent break. some kitties were in wire dog cages most of their lives. room for litter pan, and a bed. water and food bowls hung on side of cage. others were in sm rooms. not bad size chicken wire walls. with rough boards around bottom to seperate next pen, but they had 15-20 cats together. all ages. very disorganized. and not looked after...so few volunteers run the show. you can tell still bothered by all of this...sorry for rambling.