Question: How do you know when you're in love?
In my opinion (not factual), 98.5% of the people who ask this question who think that they're in love is not actually in love. People say that when you're in love you don't second guess things, that you just know when you're in love. But what is that 1.5? That --in my opinion-- is the amount of people who ask that exact question and it turns out that they are in love. I am apart of that 1.5... or at least I hope so. Like I said: most people who ask that question aren't truly in love but then you have people like me who second guess everything. I don't just second guess love, but I also have the ability to look at it from a different perspective. Over the years I have learned to look everything as a whole and that possibilities are endless even if they're one in a million. Anything is possible. I guess you could argue that I'm overthinking. I am. But sometimes overthinking can be what saves me at the end of the day.
People say that when you're in love talking to them is the highlight of your day. That you never get tired of them. That they're the first thing that you think about when you wake up and the last when you fall asleep. That you would 100% put them first without even thinking about it. That you would do anything for them even if they asked you to do the most bizarre thing. That you wouldn't be afraid to say or show how much you love that special someone. That their imperfections is what makes them perfect in our eyes. That you think 10, 20, 100 years into the future with them. That they make you a better person. That what you feel for them only expands every single minute of every single day...
But they never told us how scary it can be too. So scary to the point where you don't even know if it's real because it feels to good to be true.
That's what I'm going on about in my head. From what everyone is saying I'm in love. I think I'm in love, but am I truly? I can't express in words or pictures how much I feel for this one person. All of the "signs" are there and more. But I'm only 14. Can people fall in love at 14 and it being real? Most if not all people fall in love until they're older, yet here I am. I'm not that type of person who thinks that I know what love is and that I would tell every single person I go out with "I love you" on the first day that we start going out. That's not love. I know that's not love. I'm not blind like the majority of society. I refuse to tell someone I love them unless I actually know.
This person that I think I'm in love with is just absolutely perfect in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, he has his imperfections but he seems like he's just a dream. Too perfect. He isn't like a lot of asshole guys out there. If anything, he is everything a guy should be. Honest. Intelligent. Brave. Strong (mentally and physically). A good listener. Respectful. Responsible. Caring. Sweet. Kind. Warm... and even a little childish where it's cute. He is everything I have always desired which frightens me. I feel that he is so perfect that he isn't real. And what sucks is that we don't see each other face-to-face. We live in two separate states but we've been talking for a year, and damn has he made my year actually feel like it counts for something. He makes me feel things that I have such a hard time finding. Every single time I talk to him I feel safe. I know what goes on in the world and this may sound like I'm making this up, but I'm not. I have a cousin that was in the Sandy Hook shooting, luckily he didn't die. He was in the gym when it happened and the shooter even tried to get through the gym door. His brother (my other cousin) had nightmares for weeks dreaming that his brother died. A school shooting also happened 10 miles away from where I live. We live in such a violent world to the point where I can't even feel safe in my own house. Sometimes, I have nightmares where ISIS was here and I just remember running in front of a UPS truck and it exploded and I too caught on fire. The dream can be so intense I can feel the heat of the fire. But when I talk to him I feel safe. I don't know how, I just do. I also feel secure with him. He provides some kind of security. He's my walls that will never break. I never feel that one day he's just going to leave.
He is everything I want. Everything I need. And I'm scared. I'm scared that it turns out that he isn't real after all. It's not just because I told him some serious stuff but because I'm afraid that what I feel for him I'll never feel again...
So now my question is:
Is love suppose to be this scary?
In my opinion (not factual), 98.5% of the people who ask this question who think that they're in love is not actually in love. People say that when you're in love you don't second guess things, that you just know when you're in love. But what is that 1.5? That --in my opinion-- is the amount of people who ask that exact question and it turns out that they are in love. I am apart of that 1.5... or at least I hope so. Like I said: most people who ask that question aren't truly in love but then you have people like me who second guess everything. I don't just second guess love, but I also have the ability to look at it from a different perspective. Over the years I have learned to look everything as a whole and that possibilities are endless even if they're one in a million. Anything is possible. I guess you could argue that I'm overthinking. I am. But sometimes overthinking can be what saves me at the end of the day.
People say that when you're in love talking to them is the highlight of your day. That you never get tired of them. That they're the first thing that you think about when you wake up and the last when you fall asleep. That you would 100% put them first without even thinking about it. That you would do anything for them even if they asked you to do the most bizarre thing. That you wouldn't be afraid to say or show how much you love that special someone. That their imperfections is what makes them perfect in our eyes. That you think 10, 20, 100 years into the future with them. That they make you a better person. That what you feel for them only expands every single minute of every single day...
But they never told us how scary it can be too. So scary to the point where you don't even know if it's real because it feels to good to be true.
That's what I'm going on about in my head. From what everyone is saying I'm in love. I think I'm in love, but am I truly? I can't express in words or pictures how much I feel for this one person. All of the "signs" are there and more. But I'm only 14. Can people fall in love at 14 and it being real? Most if not all people fall in love until they're older, yet here I am. I'm not that type of person who thinks that I know what love is and that I would tell every single person I go out with "I love you" on the first day that we start going out. That's not love. I know that's not love. I'm not blind like the majority of society. I refuse to tell someone I love them unless I actually know.
This person that I think I'm in love with is just absolutely perfect in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, he has his imperfections but he seems like he's just a dream. Too perfect. He isn't like a lot of asshole guys out there. If anything, he is everything a guy should be. Honest. Intelligent. Brave. Strong (mentally and physically). A good listener. Respectful. Responsible. Caring. Sweet. Kind. Warm... and even a little childish where it's cute. He is everything I have always desired which frightens me. I feel that he is so perfect that he isn't real. And what sucks is that we don't see each other face-to-face. We live in two separate states but we've been talking for a year, and damn has he made my year actually feel like it counts for something. He makes me feel things that I have such a hard time finding. Every single time I talk to him I feel safe. I know what goes on in the world and this may sound like I'm making this up, but I'm not. I have a cousin that was in the Sandy Hook shooting, luckily he didn't die. He was in the gym when it happened and the shooter even tried to get through the gym door. His brother (my other cousin) had nightmares for weeks dreaming that his brother died. A school shooting also happened 10 miles away from where I live. We live in such a violent world to the point where I can't even feel safe in my own house. Sometimes, I have nightmares where ISIS was here and I just remember running in front of a UPS truck and it exploded and I too caught on fire. The dream can be so intense I can feel the heat of the fire. But when I talk to him I feel safe. I don't know how, I just do. I also feel secure with him. He provides some kind of security. He's my walls that will never break. I never feel that one day he's just going to leave.
He is everything I want. Everything I need. And I'm scared. I'm scared that it turns out that he isn't real after all. It's not just because I told him some serious stuff but because I'm afraid that what I feel for him I'll never feel again...
So now my question is:
Is love suppose to be this scary?
Join the Conversation