sorry i havent been on in so long things have came up i ran away to reno nevada lived on the streets most of the time here and about 2 months after i moved lillianna my baby's mother committed suicide my daughter went into cps and has been permanently adopted so i cant have my daughter back i relapsed on drugs and alcohol i tried to commit suicide i bought an 8 ball of meth and 4 extacy pills and a 1/2 gallon of jack daniels and did it all in 2 days but im still alive, but the good things are im back in A.A. i have 91 days clean and sober im off the streets im paying rent getting food i have a job doing roofing 100 dollars a day but the shadows of my past and the demons are still therre you know i still feel like ending it or killing someone else im just a huge nutcase i still want to fight people but i dont for the grace of god i just feel horrible still you know thank you for reading and please i need support