Well I was with Chris a yr we just stopped really communicating because now I'm "crazy" That started after I started watching his social media and realizing he was talking to other women on there. Well, I figured that after he blocked me on all his while we were still together. We met on IG lol and I was very careful at first but, something was always off to me about him from the beginning I just thought I was tripping because I might've been being too guarded. He was great for about 5/6 months and I was happy. We were together often and I never had issues with him. He would tell me his ex was "crazy" but, I obviously found out why that was. He left to go away for wrk and then when he came back to visit he was just diff. He didn't come home one night at all on one of his visits and then to hurt me more he left and went back to wrk (in KY) after not coming back to face me. He had tried to "break up" with me before that saying that my brain was scrambled or cluttered because my refridgerator wasn't organized. He yelled at me cause I left a mop out for a wk also. Idk like he would do some of the worst things it got verbal. I was always stupid or dumb. He told me that I didn't stimulate him intellectually and that I was a great women and he just needed more but, he always was talking about shit I wasn't interested in. I went from all that to lacking ambition all the sudden but, when we met he told me I was ambitious. I've had a lot of life changes over the last few months my daughter left the house just for this yr in Aug so I'm going through empty nest. My biz I just got the keys to it in sept and had been working hard as heck to get that together, and my uncle died Nov 30. All the while I'm dealing with his crazy crap. Every other day he wanted to break up then he was sorry. I caught him texting other women and we had a big blow up and he assaulted me. My stupid ass went back smh. Then he started ignoring me more and I would tell him I missed how he was and how he seemed to care then. He blamed work for his shortcomings. He would still continue to visit no matter how far he was Idk why. Even when I suggested having an open relationship he said no. He told me I was the bad in the relationship. But, I never did anything bad ever or to him. He look we were not together when we were. I found out Dec he asked one of his kids mom to go on a trip with him. Henyold me cause she deserved one and raised their daughter by herself. Meanwhile he has 4 kids. Oh, I got messaged on IG by a girl who has a 9 month old with him that he never told me about. I knew nothing of the little girl she was preg when I got with him and had her when I was with him. That hurt so much! He told me she isn't his but she is and he knows and refuses to gat the paternity done. He has 4 kids by 4 women smh. I also got preg and he got me preg on purpose then told me that I should have it removed. He promised to help with the procedural cost and bailed on me. Told me send pics of me taking the pills and send receipts that I paid and my aftercare instructions. We spoke up until actually new yrs day. He got mad because I wouldn't answer his 30 ft calls and told me if I ever wanted to be then to answer. Later he claimed that he didn't believe that I was in FL that's why I never answered the phone. I was in FL for New Yrs. He always asked for proof of things. Pictures etc. Smh. I sent them and he still didn't say anything to me. Basically I've been discarded and I sent him a nasty email. Probably the cruelest I've even been in my whole life to anyone. I messaged all his female followers on IG and FB basically trying to warn ppl about him. His family had turned against me basically. He told them I'm "crazy" and I was starting trouble they kind of believed it until I sent the texts and documents over. His family knew notbof this pregnancy nor the other baby or him hitting me or anything. I feel so hurt and betrayed and lost. My obsession with him is terrifying and makes me wonder about my mental state. Nobody understands how I feel but, my aunt and even still I feel some sickening attachment to him. He just ignores me and he blocked me so I can't call him or anything. I found out he had been texting and taking to at least 10 other women. My heart hurts and I realize I kindda have been here innthe soace before but this time it's by far worst. Idk what to do I feel no joy in even the things I usually feel joy in it's like I'm pretending to be happy with life whilst I'm really torn up inside. I know how I was treated wasn't normal and was abuse and I just still can't shake the freaking desire to love or want him. I know it's normal and it'll take time but, I just hurt so much. I got so angry and said and did things I'm not even proud of. Idk what place I'm in right now but, I really just don't want to be here in it at all. I am in counseling but she doesn't even have a clue of anything I feel like. I pray and I'm trying to just get back on track and have my life back but it's hard. I hate him so much and just wish I would've trusted my gut and left when I knew I should've. 

:(