SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group

A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...

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Today is my birthday.. And I feel so devastated

Sigfried
Sigfried

Hi All,


I'm new in this forum and it's been a month since I NC from my HPD ex. I've been running lots of forum explaining about histrionic PD. It helps me a lot but still I have up and down feeling all the time. I know she's bad and I don't want to go back together with her, but still it hurts me a lot to think what she's been doing with her new guy. I feel like I can't take it anymore. I even think twice to go suicide. I see her everywhere. I see a girl and i think of her. I can't function sexually since if I even think a slight sexual thing it will leads my mind to what she's doing now with her new bf. I really need some advice since I don't want to live my life like an empty shell. It has affected my job and my personal life. I was once quite a bright guy, optimistic person, and a warm soul. Now.. I feel low on self esteem and feel anger toward myself. Forgive my english. I'm asian and english is not my native languange. Any feedback will be much appreciated. I hope you guys are stronger than I am.. Cheers

Lost_Viking
Lost_Viking
Hello

I don’t think anything I say will offer much help other than if it helps you knowing you are not alone facing similar pain.. I feel much the same as you, feel completely destroyed. Just taking one day at a time and hopefully a miracle appears somehow to make things right. For whatever it’s worth I wish you a happy birthday and try to hang in there friend.
Sigfried
Sigfried
Thanks a lot Lost_Viking that means a lot to me.. glad to have a companion in this terrible boat of disaster
yogibeach222
yogibeach222
I know this is hard to hear.. but the pain will go away. Keep yourself distracted with positive things. Stay around nice and supportive friends. Keep off social media, and just focus on you. Have you thought about going to a therapist? This could help a lot, to be able to discuss your feelings, and get treatment. Especially if it is putting you in that dark state of mind, please seek help. We are all here to talk if you need anything. Go on a nice hike, or do something you love... enjoy all the small things in life, and try to not focus on that somehow. The toughest part is putting in the work to get past this, and to move forward... it takes time, and will not go away right away. It does go away! Once you work everyday to be the best version of you, and a strong version of you.. you will attract and find someone who is amazing like you! Give it time, and be patient with yourself. Journeling helped me a lot during this time...
Sigfried
Sigfried
Thanks Yogibeach... I can't help it but to reach out my ex hpd ex boyfriend.. he confirmed everything... the lying, the disease symptom, emotional 180° change. It kinda shock how a person so innoncent could do such a thing... I will be okay... I believe God will help me through it...