The sentence that speaks volumes to me,"Since coming home I have landed in a deep and dark depression, and can't seem to get out of bed or find any self worth....and all I can think about is my ex.", says it all.
Why do you feel you need to stay "home"? Sounds like you did much better on your own. Remember this; you are not responsible for anyone other than you - especially your parents.

Take care of you. (((((hugs)))))

Hey there, I totally get you, and I stayed 13 years. What I do feel after being off this site for a long time, is that we too have to take responsibility for our part in these situations and that whilst we can voice off about how these guys are bastards and sociopaths, there is also the issue that we are obsessed and addicted to them, a realistic condition. We are accepting and putting up with behavior that is not ok and a person with healthy self esteem would not do that. I really think we have to look at our part and in my case I met a man who was a cocaine addict and within a year I was doing it with him and whilst he could do it recreationally, I could not because addiction runs in my family and before I knew it I was in rehab a number of times. In rehab I was introduced to the 12 step program which is phenomenal and everyone on this earth should do it, it is a design for living. To make my point clear, in step four you are asked to do a 'fearless and moral inventory of your life' and look at every situation you have been in that has been messy or fucked up or that you feel so injured by. You write it down - the situation, and of course how you felt, hurt, abused, lied to, whatever - and then the crux is they ask you to write down the role you played in the entire thing - were you selfish, inconsiderate, whatever, or even just stupid to stay or to get sucked in. After being off this site for a long time where before I would need to hear what a fucker my ex partner was, I am different now, 18 months out of the relationship, and in the 12 steps they ask you NOT to take the other persons inventory - to instead LOOK AT YOURSELF and what you are doing in a relationship that is so rotten or with a person who has no integrity, or whatever, and work on that, look at your own character defects and own them and see if you can work to change them, or your own expectations. Dunno, this prob doesnt help you at all but it has helped me move out of victim mode and the concept that I was involved with a monster - fact is I stayed, I have to take responsibility for that, I also emasculated him with my money, I played a part - we have to have played a part, we cannot just label the guy a sociopath and wallow in our pity of how we have been fucked over. Now I know that I should have seen the signs, right from the start, esp when he beat me up three months into the relationship - I should have left then, any healthy woman would have left then, but I stayed another 13 years and for many more beatings, lies, affairs, you name it and he broke me completely or I ALLOWED him to break me completely. Where are we going to take ownership for our part - that to me now, after having gone through my own journey off this site is where I am now, taking responsibility, finally letting him go, stopping being psycho ex girlfriend, stopping the addiction and the obsession, using the 12 steps around HIM not only the drugs I got onto, that I am powerless over him and that he makes my life unmanageable - step one. I feel for you but where do we STAND UP and say NO MORE, ENOUGH, I am ending this for myself - of course it takes time, it took me 13 years to leave and 18 months to recover and I am still slightly hooked in, but 99.9% out now, and the woman I am now would never allow a man like him in my life again. I am recovering, as if I was an addict, FROM HIM, and the meetings I go to to address the drug addiction I developed with him can be applied to my addiction to him too.
I wish you so much strength.