SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
Where is my self confidence?
Firstly, I spent 20+ years looking after and caring for my drug addict sister who completely manipulated me and took me for a ride financially, I paid for everything, including her 8 rehabs, her car, her furniture, her clothes, her cash, everything, and of course she constantly made me feel bad because i was the successful healthy one and she was sick and not ok, so I went along for the ride until I realised the serious co-dependence that was going on between us and how I was being manipulated, and stopped contact with her - she died of an overdose 8 months later and of course I have asked myself if I had been there if I could have stopped her death
Then I spent 13 years with an abusive man, who also took me for an absolute ride, a con artist, a sociopath for sure, he fits all the characteristics, and yet I stayed, no matter the abuse when I could have left - 13 years of my precious life, thank god I am now out and see the light but I am suffering from seeing that light because his abuse has come to my consciousness when it was previously pushed into denial and I still wake up every morning thinking of him, its only been two months, but as with an addiction, i take it day by day and try to stop all contact with him which is difficult as he has my beloved dogs
Then there is a special friend of mine, who constantly commented on my character and through a breakdown in my life acted as a rock and a surrogate family, when I had lost my entire family to death, and who constantly told me where I went wrong but never ever admitted her part in anything whilst encouraging me to take responsibility, in such a confident and convincing way, and again I became co-dependent with her, needing her to find my way through the stormy sees at that time, but not once did she apologise for her behaviour or own it, not once and yet I keep trying to reconcile with her and she rejects me, why do i keep at it
where is my own self esteem and confidence, its shocking, I am horrified that I have allowed this in my life, how do I change it
Firstly, I spent 20+ years looking after and caring for my drug addict sister who completely manipulated me and took me for a ride financially, I paid for everything, including her 8 rehabs, her car, her furniture, her clothes, her cash, everything, and of course she constantly made me feel bad because i was the successful healthy one and she was sick and not ok, so I went along for the ride until I realised the serious co-dependence that was going on between us and how I was being manipulated, and stopped contact with her - she died of an overdose 8 months later and of course I have asked myself if I had been there if I could have stopped her death
Then I spent 13 years with an abusive man, who also took me for an absolute ride, a con artist, a sociopath for sure, he fits all the characteristics, and yet I stayed, no matter the abuse when I could have left - 13 years of my precious life, thank god I am now out and see the light but I am suffering from seeing that light because his abuse has come to my consciousness when it was previously pushed into denial and I still wake up every morning thinking of him, its only been two months, but as with an addiction, i take it day by day and try to stop all contact with him which is difficult as he has my beloved dogs
Then there is a special friend of mine, who constantly commented on my character and through a breakdown in my life acted as a rock and a surrogate family, when I had lost my entire family to death, and who constantly told me where I went wrong but never ever admitted her part in anything whilst encouraging me to take responsibility, in such a confident and convincing way, and again I became co-dependent with her, needing her to find my way through the stormy sees at that time, but not once did she apologise for her behaviour or own it, not once and yet I keep trying to reconcile with her and she rejects me, why do i keep at it
where is my own self esteem and confidence, its shocking, I am horrified that I have allowed this in my life, how do I change it
I have felt the same way about a close friend who I have never asked much of but who has been very unsupportive of me. I know how hurtful it is, I learned though that when you are in need you see people's true colours. We are all in need at times and it's then we see those around us who simply want the easy route, the convenient friendship. I learned to enjoy my own company, I don't feel I need anyone now, I still have bad days and I still feel sad but I am recovering. Be gentle with yourself, your self confidence will grow in time . Xxxxx
I don't expose myself to anyone who is hurtful to me in any way. I don't give them 'another chance' like I used to or apologize to them, when they should be the ones to be apologizing. We're learning.... it isn't easy. But I now treasure each and everyone of you beautiful souls here on Survivors of Sociopaths even more.