SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group

A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...

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Ghostwolf04 01/23/2018

I suppose I am doing alright. I just feel sometimes like i am always wrong and it stresses me out. My ex was very emotionally abusive and controlling. I never understood why until I found this group. I now see he was a sociopath and I am doing better at recovering now that I have a better understanding of what happened.

However, it's really hard to get a voice out of my head that I lived with for over six months. I mean, he told me so many things, it's hard to keep telling myself he was wrong, when I feel all the time that I'm unlikeable and lonely and that he was right. It makes my current relationship harder than it needs to be. I am always paranoid that I am driving him away by doing or saying something wrong or being unattractive. I wish I could get that nagging awkward feeling to go away so I could feel like me again and be comfortable in my own skin instead of feeling judged and put down.

yanabobana5 01/23/2018

Thank you for posting this. I completely resonate with everything you wrote. I was in a relationship with a sociopath for about a year, and it involved emotional and sexual abuse. Sometimes I think the emotional abuse was worse, because even now(2 years later) I still question my actions based on how he treated me. He would take my past experiences and whatever else I confided in him about, and use it against me. When I feel like a failure, I hear his voice in my head, telling me that I’m worthless. But it has gotten better and less frequent. My relationships have also been affected because I have needed constant validation that they care about me, which pushes them away. But this is not in your head, and you aren’t crazy, this is just what happens when someone has gotten into your head. Hopefully your partner understands, but unfortunately most do not. What’s important is to be honest with him before you jump to conclusions or let your paranoia take over. Things do get better, and soon enough, you’ll hear that voice in your head, but it won’t hurt you anymore. Hugs <3

Ghostwolf04 01/25/2018

Thanks alot. My ex sexually abused me too and even gave me an STD(not permanent) because he cheated.
I don't think my current boyfriend would cheat, but that voice in my head sometimes comes back, saying all guys cheat on their gf, especially if the gf is fat and stupid and bad in bed. I just shrivel up and get paranoid every time my boyfriend gets a message on his phone. He has been cheated on alot too so we try to be open and tell each other where we are and who we are with. We spend most of our time together. But I don't want to be that controlling mean gf that gets no attention and eventually cheated on.
I've lost so many friends as it is because of my ex, it's hard for me to make new ones or not be overly judgemental.

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