When I was with my ex he would talk badly about every one of his exes which was a red flag. They were all the problem, crazy, stupid, etc. I know now that he puts me in that same group while he butters up his new victim. And most likely he is telling a past ex that he still loves her and she is the only one he ever wanted. You are not crazy! Trust me! These sickos drive us crazy! The sooner you get this scummy worm out of your life, the more calm and normal you will feel!

Heyvee,

I urge you to read the book:
'Who is Pulling your Strings' - it will clarify for you, not only what he 'did', but also the way you feel. I also believed, exactly like you do: 'May be it WAS me' 'What if he is/was right?' 'Well, I did get angry, I did behave in not such a nice way, I did.... I did......'

The book explains, that if someone mentally abuses you and manipulates you, these feelings (anger, resentment, mood swings etc) are only a NORMAL response to a NOT so normal treatment by another.
Most likely, your Ex is bipolar and has a personality disorder ( a Sociopath is always also a Narcissist -from what I read- may be some psychotic tendencies, Borderline Personality Disorder.....) http://votesocial.net/q/BorderlinePersonalityDisorder/?act=poll.poll&alias=BorderlinePersonalityDisorder&trk=borderline+personality+disorder+symptoms&lpid=104069

If you read quite a bit about Sociopaths, you know, that this is exactly what they do: they turn around and accuse YOU of what actually they are doing. The guy I dated, a S, now tells people that I mentally abused him and manipulated him.
When I hear this, I go into (like you) reality check mode: I could only open windows a certain way, he would get PISSED if the dogs would come up to me instead of him, he cross dressed (yep! found that out too!), he would take a picture of his odometer before giving me his car (IF he would give it to me, while he was freely offering to others), blamed me for his cough which he couldn't get rid of (yep! my fault!), took the house key away from me........and so on, and so on.
So WHO is the CRAZY one? Do a reality check, when these doubts come up. Any loving, caring person would respond to another's affection.

Don't blame yourself! THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! You got involved with the wrong person. Now educate yourself so that this will NEVER happen again. You are worth it.....he is not!

Love and Light to you!

:)

I forgot the link to the book. Here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Whos-Pulling-Your-Strings-Manipulation/dp/0071446729/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402400699&sr=1-1&keywords=who+is+pulling+your+strings

You think you are bipolar? I read your opening comment that started this thread and found nothing to proove to me that you needed to see a psychiatrist to see if you are bipolar. Bipolar disorder is cassed by some kind of chemical balance in the brain that causes one to be euphoric one moment and than decend into a deep depression the next. This has nothing to do with having an antisocial personality. And contrary to antisocial personality disorders with proper medication and medical supervision you could be the life of the party and be such an incredible empath and so on. To me you believed a lie from your personality disorderred EX. From personal experience I could enjoy spending time with a bipolar afflicted persons, I already have. But forget about me wanting to meet your EX with his verbal abusive ways. You need help not condemnation. First thing to consider is that you are ready to compare every future guy to your EX's persona which only looks like a big deal. But he only used it so as to get to where he abused you. Nothing genuine there. So relax, take your time and let yourself become aware that there is more to a guy than being an overly active liar with a great persona. He is finished with his great persona. He only wants to devalue you now, assumming he has not discarded you already. The Ex is the equivalent to a cartoon character like Popeye the Sailor Man. . The differrence is that he wants to be more like Brutus, You need to et away from Brutus and stay away from Brutus, You are never going to get anything positive from him now..

I mean...I definitely had moments when I was laying in bed and so happy to be with him and the second he didn't want to cuddle with me I would get quiet and not want to talk to him. I felt a form of rejection immediately and it hurt me and I became....I was definitely overly sensitive....I just feel like most people wouldn't react the way that I did. They probably would have understood that he can't cuddle me and kiss me all over every time I want him to.....

In terms of comparing every future guy to my ex....I am hoping that will subside as I take this time to focus on myself and my healing. I am hoping in a year or so I will be ready to open up again to someone new....
Only time will tell.

He did devalue me, even after our breakup.
My question to all of you:
If any of you have had any experience getting back in touch with your exes, what what your experience like?

When I finally got in touch with my ex asking to be friends, he responded to my text saying "Hey! How have you been?!"
And I invited him to meet me at a bar that night. He didn't text me all day until 10pm. I went to the bar anyway with my friend hoping he would show up.
He texted me that he just showered and was on his way and then he never showed up.

There were many times after that where he didn't respond to my texts.
He then texted me the next friday after ignoring my texts asking me what I was doing and I was busy so I wasn't able to see him.
He then texted me the following weekend randomly in the middle of the night. And of course I was desperate to see him again and still in love with him so I rushed over his place.
We slept together and he told me he wanted to see me the following week and wanted me to start sleeping over again.
And then the following week I tried contacting him multiple times and I never heard from him again.....

He was just nice one moment, responding kindly in that text, then he would ignore me. Or he would tell me I was beautiful and that he wanted me to start sleeping over again, and then he just never contacted me again.
I blamed myself for being too "needy" and attached after hearing from him/seeing him and annoying him with all of my texts...making him feeling "pressured" to see me.
Is this how people just typically behave after breaking up with someone? Did he have a right to behave that way? Did I drive him away from acting too attached?

every person who comes out of one of these relationships with s,p, or n is told they are a bitch ( and much worse ) bipolar crazy, not ok in the head ...bla bla the list goes on. i could go through everything you have written and give you a reason why you respond the way you do. and there is nothing wrong with how you are responding to his treatment of you. have you ever heard of stock holm syndrome? look it up and ill try to find an article and post it here i used to have one. dont internalize all his poison inflicted upon you and blame yourself. shake your head, put cold water on your face, and really think about the way he treats you. do you really feel your responses are crazy?? i dont i think they are very normal responses to abuse. we get brain washed into believing this is our fault and that is nothing but further from the truth. we all go through this phase in our healing, keep reading as much info about sociopaths and what happens to there victims, and keep writing here where you are safe. areyou still with him? sorry ive been gone for 2 weeks and am not familiar with whats going on yet with who. i hope you find something in your reading or something someone says to you here that will make you realize you are not crazy. you did nothing wrong when people really care about each other they show it when they dont there is something just not right. dont beat yourself up anymore hun. hugs bella

I am not with him. I haven't seen him in three months.
If you read above, my last contact with him was when I saw him about three months after our breakup and slept with him...and then he never contacted me again.
I don't plan on contacting him again but I'm just having a hard time recovering from this relationship and the way that he treated me.

im sorry he treated you like that.. it hurts. im sorry ive been gone for two weeks and was reading what you wrote on top and wanted to respond. its very hard to recover from this it takes time . 3 months is alot but it can take a while dont give up. im glad you arent contacting him you deserve so much more you seem very kind and loving. hang in there and i hope you find some peace soon. i dont think it was anything you did i believe it was him being a dick.

Heyvee, I am going on a little over 2 months away from my ex. It takes a long time to recover from something like this. The longer you were with him, the more time it takes. Trust me, it has nothing to do with you not being enough, or crazy, or whatever nasty seed he has planted in your head, He has done this before and he will do it again to the next girl. You deserve the affection you were so starved for. I know how you felt, b/c mine would get cold on me and go watch TV for hours in another room at night, hold me and cuddle only some of the time. I felt like sex was just sex, not making love. I would spend a weekend with him, and most of a day I spend watching TV by myself or reading one of my books while he worked on one of his cars outside. I know what you experienced. You deserve more. We all do.

Going back a long ways ago I got back with a girlfriend of mine......about 7 times maybe. I decided codependancy on both our parts was the reason, and i was plenty lonely. But things when they restarted never stayed positive. Things went towards me being gas lighted sonner or later all over again. My interest in her waned, at a key and unexpected moment i learned I was the victim of domestic violence from her. And than a fair bit later , that her behavior was like that of those with antisocial ways of relating . Now I'm NC with her and life is much more peaceful. The idea of going back to her scares me. and we are neighbors.

Douglas I am glad you have found peace and independence from her. My ex was great at gas lighting me too....I consider the way he treated me after the breakup as emotional abuse. No one deserves that, and you certainly didn't deserve what you went through. I hope we can all stay strong for each other and stay positive.
Ive been single for six months now. Every damn day I think of what he did to me and how much he hurt me. It seems to never end. I am hoping to fall in love again so that this pain will someday subside. I don't care if I was crazy or not.....I want to be accepted for who I am... Shouldn't we all be? Love is love...it has no conditions.

I longed for 8 years to receive the affection you were giving. In the beginning, I guess it's what they call the love-bombing, I did get it in return. There was no gradual pulling back, literally overnight it stopped, when I asked her what was wrong her response was, "the relationship has progressed."

I am deep in the turmoil, just discarded recently my 3 year old angel taken from my daily life. I am in no position to offer guidance, I spin out of control emotionally through out the day, but if your sudden mood changes were anything like mine, it's purely a defense mechanism in response to the awful manipulation. I'm willing to bet it's a sign of the damage done to you, not by you. For me it's a panic attack, anticipating the abuse/manipulation/rejection that is about to happen. You are not bi-polar or crazy, you are hurting.

Yeah emotions are all over the place when you come out of something like this. I hate it. But we just have to ride them out and heal.