Something that has really helped me was to type all of my ex’s lies and most hateful actions on notes, and set it as my phone screensaver. It helps me not to text him because every time I click on my phone past traumas come back to me and I couldn’t reach out to him. This has really helped. Also, I’m gonna get counseling.

Yes, I second operalover11’s suggestion. What helped me was writing down absolutely everything he ever said or did to me, and continuing to add to it whenever I thought of something new. I read what I wrote every single day until I no longer felt the temptation to contact him. It takes time, and it’s incredibly painful, but it works.

Thank you for your replies. I actually wrote him a letter (which I haven't given) the next day it happened. It helped me get out a lot of his lies on paper and I guess I wanted closure through this but after reading up more, it doesn't sound like I'm going to get it. I am already seeing a therapist and she recommended the book. I'm half way through it in a matter of hours. It makes more sense now but I still think of the "love" we shared and crave him sexually... I feel like that's going to be one of the hardest parts.

Yes, I did realize that. It's a mess really. I knew initially but then he told me they broke up shortly after. I blocked him for 2 weeks but because of the strong connection I thought we had built I reached out because I missed him. I fucked up. After that I found out he was lying again and again I stuck around and accepted the fact because I had already fallen in love with him. I started to hate the whole idea and he promised he would leave her in which he finally "did" but no. I know it's my fault for even giving the chance after the beginning. I've not responded to him yesterday so this is day 2 of no contact. I still don't want to believe this whole story. I am in the us

Another book that I’d recommend reading, is “But He Never Hit Me” by Dr. Jill Murray. It was another good reminder of what love is and isn’t.

I'll look into the book thanks. Well he contacted me again today and said, I miss you like absolutely crazy!
So now back on after being off. I've been studying the shit out of this. So I feel like I know what to expect.. I guess. It's so fucked.

The hardest part is realizing that the person you loved, never existed. And that's soo terribly impossible to rationalize.

How can this person I loved, held, and laughed with, be a lie? how could none of that be true?

But it wasn't, it's important to remind yourself that due to his illness he cannot feel things like Love, Compassion, empathy, it's just as impossible as someone with missing limbs regrowing them.

I know now all you feel is the hurt, you feel abandoned, used, and discarded and worst of all by the person who you would have sought to comfort you when you felt like this.

when you asked "Why would he text me it's over"

Because he wasn't, that was a probing statement it's what they do. He was gauging your response to see if he could rope you back in. They often wait months to come back around, but they always do. He cannot maintain a healthy relationship for any prolonged period of time, so he will be back.

There is no happy ending for this person, EVER! So he will do what he's always done, torment ex's while seeking new victims to manipulate.

They also don't have a perception of time like the rest of us, so it will always feel much longer to him. He will wait until you think you're over it, then come back around with probing questions. They always do, with the same lie "They changed" They never change, it's medically impossible.

This is a scan of a psychopaths brain.

https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/the-psychopathic-brain-is-it-different-from-a-normal-brain/

It's not a mental illness they're brain was born deformed they CANNOT EVER feel things like love, compassion, empathy. Because that part of the brain does't work.

And reminding yourself of that while keeping distance forever is the only thing that can "Prepare You", otherwise you will become his play thing again.

Thank you. Reading that hurts so fucking much but I know it's the truth. His gf text me again yesterday. She's "making sure" that I don't respond or reach out to him. Shes so blind to it. I thought I was ok to work yesterday. I was wrong. I tried to numb the pain with drinking (I work in the bar industry so luckily I can take time off) and I got fucked up and made bad choices. It's been a week and I feel like it hurts just as much if not more than the day it happened. I hate what he's done to me and my spirit. I feel so empty