I know what you are saying. I was so severely gaslighted by my mother that I never seemed to know right from wrong wwhen around her AND away from her quite often. I wrote my NC letter about a month ago already! Time has gone fast. But now I do things more my way, the way that makes me comfortable. I'm still hypervigilant to some degree and have had momentsof bad emotions and fear, in part due to wanting to fulfill communicative desireswith other family member. But now I have let my gut guide me , and for now I don't talk to family members.
Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Right=love. Wrong =hatred. And I'm so sure you don't want the latter. So let your gut tell hyou right from wrong and allow for grieving and treat yourself with gentleness. One day at a time is the best way to go. I'm sorry you have been through so much. But you are not alone here in that area. I assure you. :)

You can message me if you want. I'm here, my friend.

Douglas is right, Pendra. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Focus on you and taking care of YOU.

If you mean you mix reality and dreams/nightmares, this may be due to PTSD and is the result of trauma and confusion. You just need to try to calm down, do whatever relaxes you or makes you not have to think, and wait it out. It is worse at night, so don't make any decisions until daylight.

If you mean you really do not know what reality is and you are feeling desparate, you may want to call 911 or go to a hospital to be checked out for physical or psychological causes. Getting enough help to allow you to help yourself more is so important to starting to recover.