Hosana, it is normal to have your good and bad days, so don't beat yourself up too much. It's going into 7 months for me, since I have removed myself from Satan. Like you, it felt like a death like something big has been ripped apart from me where I just couldn't handle it.

Just know that you are not alone in this situation as we all are taking one step at a time on the road to recovery. As for whether my "S" will be back, I don't know as I have a temporary restraining order against him, so I haven't heard from him since it's been served upon him. However, prior to him being served he would send me crazy texts, such as "Why do you want to hurt me?", "Why did you give my company's name away (he's talking about the so-called business he was trying to start) which was another quick, rich scheme which faltered. Anyway, if he does come back by then hopefully you will be stronger in letting him know it's not like that anymore.....so move on.

yes dont be so hard on yourself i know it seems like 5 months is a long time but breaking off a relationship with a soc. is something that is like experiencing a death its not just a normal break up. give yourself more time and dont worry about the future to much right now try to live in the now. if they believe there is more to be gotten from you they will come back. you have to get to the point where you wont be tempted to give them anything. its been over 2 years for me and it will get better just hang on and read.

Thank you so much yes he did the same to me blamed me he wanted a business and i said no and it went down hill to the point we lost the car, and he complained he only has one car, which he lost anyway, i suppose he must of spoked him inside when i started to discovery who he truely was, he has alot of stuff here but if he walked away and moved to another state, maybe after a year i dont think he will be back for it. cause last time he left and tried to kil himself, i started to get rid of his stuff, so maybe in his mind thats what he will be thinking, he kept saying without me realising i want my name of the house and my share and i said no you want get that cause when imet you all you had was a bag with clothes in it. what i cant get thoe is when he left all he took was his ring i brought him the video player, and his clothes he keep warning me i am going to go so far away and you will never see me again, and i will take only the things that are important to me, and thats what he did. Do they think of you and i wonder does it make them go insane, ten years is such along time being together.

no they dont think about you or if they are hurting you they just dont care. they can walk away in mid relationship and still turn around and blame you for why they left . its all about manipulating you. the other thing is a true S,P,N will not commit suidide, they love themselves to much. but they will pretend to do so just to get you to do what they want. the worst kind of mind fu#@ out there another person can do to you. my ex used to put guns in his mouth when ever he didnt bother to come home. he thought i would feel sorry him, at first i did and freaked out by the end of the relationship and i couldnt take the lies and cheating anymore or his ploys for attention, i finally told him to go out side if he as going to pull the triger so i didnt have to clean up the mess. he went so far to run outside and shoot the gun off in the air trying to make me think had done it. by that time i was so desensitized i didnt care anymore if he did it or not. i was hoping he would but he is to big of a coward and it was all just a way to manipulate me.he did this with my new bby in the home just home from the hospital and giving birth. my own mother was there and saw what he does to me , thats was the beginning of the end. no they dont go inane unless they havent given up on you yet. usually they have lined up some new supply by then if not yet, they will. he is leaving his clothes and stuff there because it leaves the door open for him to come back. i would bag the stuff up, tell him you will leave it somewhere for him and then if he doesnt come it get rid of it. dont leave any openings for him to walk back into your life.

thank you bellanomor the only problem with that is he left a note dont look for me im not coming back so the only way i know is he is far away because he asked the bank to send me a letter to pay off the remaining outstanding over drawen amount so that account can be closed i know the place he is in, but i dont know his number and i cant contact him, i feel so sorry for you, thank you for your soothing words they mean alot to me i really so much want to put his face up on a site that other victims can be aware of him, he always said dont you put my face up now i know why he got angry cause he wont be able to stop his game, i have so much stuff i had recently found, of all the wrong dealings on piece of paper, but i dont have trust or faith in the police department any more, cause they came out to my house, and thought i was a harm to myself, for when he left i was a wreck,

hosana, if the police would have seen me i would have been committed, to be honest i probably would have gone willingly, i was a wreck. i dont trust the police either ive dealt with them. they arent out to find the truth thats for sure. i had a roomate about 2 years ago who was i know know a total sociopath and when i tried to move out and get away from her she called the police, told them i hit when i had never even touched her and they came to our home , arrested me without even asking what had happened and threw me in jail for 30 hours for assault. the worst 30 hours of my life. be careful posting his pick or looking for revenge on him, it could very easily back fire on you. just be glad he is out of your life. and believe me they do horrid things and still show back up in your life and act like nothing ever happened. hopefully he wont.

Don't put pressure on yourself to call him your EX. You are not ready for that. And there are more important things to be doing right now. Being able to function without him, getting your self esteem and your life back, all of which will take time. Also you will have those days that are good and others that are not so good. It is enough that he is no longer living with you and making your life a nightmarish experience. Now you have to just be good to yourself and let things work out with time and bits of effort on your part. But forget about calling him your EX for now, apart from when filling out government stuff that requires your marital status.