SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
Changed recently?
I used to feel like....I was a good person. And now I dont feel that I am anymore. I feel that since my breakup with my ex in January I have become so bitter and angry and fucking hateful of everyone and the world.
Everything I used to love...drawing, painting, all of my hobbies I now hate because they remind me of my ex.
I felt that I was so selfless and giving and loving and because of my codependency issues and heartbreak I have hurt so so so many people. I know that deep down inside that I am a good person but I have said TERRIBLE things to friends, lost many friends, have lost potential love interests. I just feel like I completely lost control and lost myself and have transformed into such a terrible, angry human being.
I would feel rejected if people didnt reciprocate my texts or constant attention and in return just threw them out of my life...and made sure they would stay out by saying terrible nasty things to them.
Now more than ever I have hated myself. All I feel is remorse...guilt.....sadness...anxiety...hatred of myself.
I no longer see the good person that I was...because I feel tainted. I feel like I will never be able to be the kind soul that I was. All I remember is the mistakes that I made, the ways that I have hurt people, the terrible things that I said that I tried to erase with so many apologies.
I have reached the point where even when I tried to go back and leave heartfelt apologies and emails and voicemails to those that I have hurt...they dont even want to talk to me. I feel like I can no longer blame the world for my problems and for my pain...and it is so fucking hard to look back and realize that I was not a victim in my circumstances but...the cause of them. 23 years old and now I have to throw away everything I ever knew and start over. How do I find new friends? How do I become pure and sweet and redeem myself of all of the pain I have caused to others? What do I do?
I dont know what or who I am anymore. I feel like I've turned into a monster. What do I do?
I used to feel like....I was a good person. And now I dont feel that I am anymore. I feel that since my breakup with my ex in January I have become so bitter and angry and fucking hateful of everyone and the world.
Everything I used to love...drawing, painting, all of my hobbies I now hate because they remind me of my ex.
I felt that I was so selfless and giving and loving and because of my codependency issues and heartbreak I have hurt so so so many people. I know that deep down inside that I am a good person but I have said TERRIBLE things to friends, lost many friends, have lost potential love interests. I just feel like I completely lost control and lost myself and have transformed into such a terrible, angry human being.
I would feel rejected if people didnt reciprocate my texts or constant attention and in return just threw them out of my life...and made sure they would stay out by saying terrible nasty things to them.
Now more than ever I have hated myself. All I feel is remorse...guilt.....sadness...anxiety...hatred of myself.
I no longer see the good person that I was...because I feel tainted. I feel like I will never be able to be the kind soul that I was. All I remember is the mistakes that I made, the ways that I have hurt people, the terrible things that I said that I tried to erase with so many apologies.
I have reached the point where even when I tried to go back and leave heartfelt apologies and emails and voicemails to those that I have hurt...they dont even want to talk to me. I feel like I can no longer blame the world for my problems and for my pain...and it is so fucking hard to look back and realize that I was not a victim in my circumstances but...the cause of them. 23 years old and now I have to throw away everything I ever knew and start over. How do I find new friends? How do I become pure and sweet and redeem myself of all of the pain I have caused to others? What do I do?
I dont know what or who I am anymore. I feel like I've turned into a monster. What do I do?
I don't like the word victim because it makes you helpless, but a survivor. You are a survivor. Inspite of everything you have gone through, you are still here and trying to make things better.
My ex brought me high to a place where I actually believed I am worth something and then when it became time for him to get rid of me, I was worthless a monster and he was my victim.
People will follow you, new , compatibale people once you know where you are headed.