SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
Any suggestions on what to do/think when you realize that quite a few relatives of the ex have serious problems and are willing to not only "skewer" me but our young adult children? He dumped and ran because we weren't worth $$ anymore.
He's basically gotten out of settlement (divorce) by intentionally letting the house go into foreclosure. The sheriff's sale was Tuesday and Friday at 5:30, his brother walked up, told me he is new owner and I need to "vacate immediately". That doesn't APPEAR to be true, but my oldest daughter is moving in just a couple weeks and it's been uproar and stress around here, despite my checking and at least getting "temporary all clear" from law enforcement.
The day after, ex changed his profile pix to include the one he ran away with. All of the relatives (my daughters' aunts, uncles and the like) have been oohing and aahing over the pix, while their cousins have been giving them hell about the situation here
"You haven't lost sh*t. And if you think one of us wouldn't take both of you in then your on the same page as your mother in my book."
"Just pick your teeth up and move on before things get any worse for you; you can drop the girls off with another family member that doesn't torment them the sick ways you do" (This was to me)
My daughter (whose credit is ruined already, no thank to ex) stated:
"And also thank you xxxx, here is our proof that yes this was well thought out and everyone was in the loop but us! But hey being homeless is funny!"
I thought her comment quite insightful, but I'm hurting for them as well as myself. I know there is fraud involved in all this, but proving anything? Even getting anyone to look into FACTS and EVIDENCE? Hah!
I knew fraud sometimes occurs where there is divorce and foreclosure, just never expected anything so brazen and cruel.
Any suggestions? I already went to the sheriff's department to verify (as best as possible) the information given me before the sale. I hate this, because we have done NOTHING wrong ... and even from the face, anyone (especially legal people) can see it on the "face" ... ex gets out of legal obligations and, because of collusion, we are basically being ganged up on. And this has been for years ... now I just have evidence of who/when etc.
He's basically gotten out of settlement (divorce) by intentionally letting the house go into foreclosure. The sheriff's sale was Tuesday and Friday at 5:30, his brother walked up, told me he is new owner and I need to "vacate immediately". That doesn't APPEAR to be true, but my oldest daughter is moving in just a couple weeks and it's been uproar and stress around here, despite my checking and at least getting "temporary all clear" from law enforcement.
The day after, ex changed his profile pix to include the one he ran away with. All of the relatives (my daughters' aunts, uncles and the like) have been oohing and aahing over the pix, while their cousins have been giving them hell about the situation here
"You haven't lost sh*t. And if you think one of us wouldn't take both of you in then your on the same page as your mother in my book."
"Just pick your teeth up and move on before things get any worse for you; you can drop the girls off with another family member that doesn't torment them the sick ways you do" (This was to me)
My daughter (whose credit is ruined already, no thank to ex) stated:
"And also thank you xxxx, here is our proof that yes this was well thought out and everyone was in the loop but us! But hey being homeless is funny!"
I thought her comment quite insightful, but I'm hurting for them as well as myself. I know there is fraud involved in all this, but proving anything? Even getting anyone to look into FACTS and EVIDENCE? Hah!
I knew fraud sometimes occurs where there is divorce and foreclosure, just never expected anything so brazen and cruel.
Any suggestions? I already went to the sheriff's department to verify (as best as possible) the information given me before the sale. I hate this, because we have done NOTHING wrong ... and even from the face, anyone (especially legal people) can see it on the "face" ... ex gets out of legal obligations and, because of collusion, we are basically being ganged up on. And this has been for years ... now I just have evidence of who/when etc.
He "got back together" with me when his lawsuits quit working. I didn't know any of this legal stuff then; my attorney told me I would "never" get a custody change .... while all the circumstances had changed and he likely feared he could or would lose custody (and over $1000k a month to play with). There was a lot I didn't know then; I spent a year or so doing things with him and with him/our children to see if this would work. I told him I wasn't willing to marry him, but if we could agree to get along and financially, it would benefit us as well as our children. Since he had the upper hand (so it seemed) I figured I'd get to see and protect our children without always spending money and dealing with lawsuits.
WRONG!!!! He merely used me and dumped us all once the children's checks were getting ready to stop (and I didn't drop everything and get another job as he demanded).
It's a long, sad story ... When the new N board was formed, I wrote out the gist of it.
Basically, the relatives have done things like: hide in the house and snatch our daughters when the girls were 5 & 6.
When I won the right to see our children (he didn't show for Court), his mother told our girls (then about 10 & 11) that "mommy is going to kill you. she told me she would". One of my daughters was then induced to write to the judge ... I didn't get to see them for almost 2 months after the "win" in Court. And by the way, the guy who didn't show up, who claimed I needed to be restricted and supervised because I am "abusive" ... was in an out of state casino, instead of Court. I learned that, quite by accident, after the Court hearing.
You've seen just a "little" of the comments. I have a "diatribe" saved that one of the cousins wrote on my FB page a couple years ago. It is really clear the "information" came from his mother, etc (our daughters' aunt), though he relates it as "first hand".
I sent our youngest down state to college after he filed for divorce; she withdrew because I had trouble getting her loan taken care of (she kept getting her meal account, etc turned off even though I called and they kept saying they wouldn't do that while I was trying to get it straightened out). Completely without my knowledge, she went to live temporarily at at aunt's (the ex's sister) who I thought lived 1000 miles away ... she was told to "don't tell your mother" where you are. I'm guessing to circumvent support, because I requested it for her ... she is bright and wanted to become a veterinarian.
No, I know what these people aren't and that is "friends" or "caring".
I've gotten better information and this HAS BEEN another attempt at intimidation and to get me out, probably to collect or destroy evidence, cause me additional financial losses. I've been as pro-active as possible but (I know everyone says this, but in retrospect, it's true) I had a crappy attorney. BUT that in a sense is "okay" because when she wouldn't file regarding clarifying the decree (to prevent just what has happened) I DID. And I put my statement of previous fraud in my filing, which was dismissed. But it IS in the Court record! I just didn't do it right; that's why I paid an attorney. I wouldn't have gotten one, but when he started coming after me, I knew I needed to protect myself and the children.
Anyway, despite me getting better information and trying to reassure my oldest (22), she left at 8a.m. and hasn't returned since. She keeps sending me texts, "Has anything happened yet?" She scared and doesn't trust me, though I trust the information I have now. Does that tell you anything about these people? They DON'T give a care about our daughters .... cause she is moving in like 2 1/2 weeks, anyway. So determined on their own way and agenda, they put her through this. Total cruelty and totally unnecessary.
They are (daughters) "getting it" but I know even that has to be hard and traumatic on them, based on what I've been through and the fact they grew up BELIEVING I deserted them, was a lunatic, liar, thief, druggie ... and on and on. People told me I should get out and let them "figure it out". I'm glad, now, I listened to my heart and the wisdom I have gained.
so is your home being foreclosed on? thats the part i cant figure out.