SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
So this site is really about sociopaths and what they get away with, how we are treated badly and more
i ask this same question about friendships, what can I expect from them and how should I manage myself in them. For me my expectation of friendships is their health relies on values like honesty, confidentiality, transparency, reliability, trust, communication, authenticity and more
After being involved with the fraudulent nature of a sociopath, I feel the need to be ruthless, and if my friends transgress certain reasonable values, I don't want them in my life - these are not rules, just healthy behaviour
But I have learnt hard because unfortunately over my last four years of hell in my life, and relentless challenges and the toxic and unhealthy and abusive nature of my relationship with my ex partner, I shared too much with my friends, had them listen on and on to my complaints, events, incidents, abuse, and more - and one by one over time I lost them, and they walked out of my life - perhaps because they got sick of the negative information, or of the burden of my situation, or of having to support me, or because it was always heavy, or because they began to disrespect me for staying in a situation that was so unhealthy and revolting. Most of them are gone now and at first I was shocked at their exit, but later I saw that I should not have gone that far with them, and been more private.
How do I handle the very few I have left, am I allowed to share, am I allowed to expect support at any time, must I always appear joyful and fun filled, must I avoid any asking of opinion, must I at all costs not subject them to anything going on in my life that is real, or challenging or difficult.
I also found that those friends who supported me created a debt with me - saying I have been here for you all the way bla bla bla - when I would never do that.
As said, how do I handle friendships ongoing and can I forgive myself for having lost those who I over burdened and shared too much with, stop feeling ashamed and sick in my stomach about the content that I shared, how it affected their opinion of me, or even my credibility, or what they think of me now.
I would love some feedback
Is losing friends part of the sociopath process.......
i ask this same question about friendships, what can I expect from them and how should I manage myself in them. For me my expectation of friendships is their health relies on values like honesty, confidentiality, transparency, reliability, trust, communication, authenticity and more
After being involved with the fraudulent nature of a sociopath, I feel the need to be ruthless, and if my friends transgress certain reasonable values, I don't want them in my life - these are not rules, just healthy behaviour
But I have learnt hard because unfortunately over my last four years of hell in my life, and relentless challenges and the toxic and unhealthy and abusive nature of my relationship with my ex partner, I shared too much with my friends, had them listen on and on to my complaints, events, incidents, abuse, and more - and one by one over time I lost them, and they walked out of my life - perhaps because they got sick of the negative information, or of the burden of my situation, or of having to support me, or because it was always heavy, or because they began to disrespect me for staying in a situation that was so unhealthy and revolting. Most of them are gone now and at first I was shocked at their exit, but later I saw that I should not have gone that far with them, and been more private.
How do I handle the very few I have left, am I allowed to share, am I allowed to expect support at any time, must I always appear joyful and fun filled, must I avoid any asking of opinion, must I at all costs not subject them to anything going on in my life that is real, or challenging or difficult.
I also found that those friends who supported me created a debt with me - saying I have been here for you all the way bla bla bla - when I would never do that.
As said, how do I handle friendships ongoing and can I forgive myself for having lost those who I over burdened and shared too much with, stop feeling ashamed and sick in my stomach about the content that I shared, how it affected their opinion of me, or even my credibility, or what they think of me now.
I would love some feedback
Is losing friends part of the sociopath process.......
bellanomore
yes losing friends unfortunately are part of it sometimes . again i would suggest limiting your involvement with your friends and what you discuss with them or dont discuss. they have heard enough they want to see action in you now. your going through a roller coaster of feelings right now and thats too much for some people. hell its too much for us at the time but we have to walk through all this pain to find the other side.
deleted_user
Its part of the process most if not all of us lost friends and some lost family members also. They just don't understand the devastation so they leave I guess they feel helpless and some of them will be under the spell of the S. This is the time Pendra for you to get to know you again to take time out from everyone and heal. I had a therapist say to me "become your own best friend" I was hurt and angry and basically ignored that comment but that is exactly what happened all I had was me so I took the time to just concentrate on what I wanted and it worked. Look at it like you're weeding out the toxic people concentrate on you and when you are through this new friendships will form.
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