SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group

A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...

301 Members
580 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Support Group

Devistated

ladybug76
ladybug76

I've never been so low and depleted in my life. I met "the man of my dreams" almost two years ago. Moved in with him with my two kids while going through a divorce and he ended up throwing us out multiple times. I was completely distraught he denied there being someone else but I found out by seeing a video of their pics that there inevitably was. He begged me back and we tried to work it out but failed again. We always stayed in contact but this spring we reunited AGAIN, and I started living there five days of the week and staying at my precious martial home per my lawyers advice as the divorce is still on going (to be finalized next month) however AGAIN, he packed our bags when we left for school on day. He immediately said he didn't want to do this blah blah blah but he couldn't handle me staying at my house and not giving him my "all" and being second to everyone and everything else.... two weeks went by and he continued with the I love yous and I miss yours and I stayed strong in saying I'm sorry but you threw us out again I can't handle that. It's so unstable for kids. We had planned a vacation to Mexico next month and he had a ring to propose to me, all the kids had seen it and knew. However low and behold I found out there is another girl AGAIN. We both dropped all contact a week ago and I am just completely broken, head spinning, left blaming myself again and so devistated that there is a woman in our house with his kids already. Does anyone have a heart anymore? How could he wake up that morning in bed with me kissing me loving me promising me a future and snuggling my kids in their beds that morning as well and pack our things two hours later? I've searched countless sights searching for answer, re read all messages and texts trying to make sense of something. I've tried to get my personal items back and been told he will get them to me and then told he threw them away. I could go on and on with stories of manipulation verbal abuse constant threats .. and countless stories or how amazing wonderful and adoring he is. That's what I don't get, the man of my dreams is also my worst nightmare: help

Augie0214
Augie0214
Wow. I just read your post and it is so similar to mine. I sent you a friend request. Maybe we can talk and help each other out. Mine was the best thing that's ever happened to me and also the worst. How can that be?
ladybug76
ladybug76
That is how I describe it the "man of my dreams" turned worst nightmare. So many broken promises heartbreaks and lies. So hurtful
socinomoremrweiler
socinomoremrweiler
I know exactly how you feel. I’m 27, when I met him I was. 25, I didn’t want anything serious and at the time was with a wonderful man who was much older (37, now 39) .i met my socio at a party and we hit it off immediately and had mutual friends and I just thought “cool someone I can have fun with” he asked me for my number and said he wanted to get to know me better. In the second week of us chatting he was going to take me out on a date and canceled last minute saying there was an emergency, his moms friend down the street with MS had fallen and she didn’t have her cell close, so she crawled to the house phone and his house number was the only phone number she remembered , she didn’t want to call an ambulance because she just needed help up . He raced over there because he’s such a great guy and he was going to stay and keep her company. Every inconsistency in this lie that I was going to question, before I could even ask he knew what I was going to say and had an answer: I drove by a mutual friends house and saw his car outside . This was not just a lie, to me that showed calculation , manipulation, and just overall said a lot about his character . My gut told me to run for the hills but he had just lost his mother tramatically 3 months before, and mutual friends said it didn’t sound like him. Stupidly, I gave him another chance all the while he’s saying “ let me prove to you that’s not what I’m about. I swear I’m going to show you that I’m a good guy, idk why I did that it was so stupid” so the whole time I proceeded with caution and he did everything in his power to convince me that I could trust him, he loved me. And we were going to spend the rest of our lives together . Once I was moved in, and he had me under his spell, 8 months into the relationship I find out he has a secret online life talking to Craigslist hookers and on like 20+ dating apps. Needless to say I was devastated because I had been hurt before but I never lived with a guy, or had someone work so hard to break down my walls. And I was really mad at myself. I said “how could I have fallen for this again”. He cried and begged and pleaded on his knees for me to stay and said me and his dad are the only people that matter to him. (He has no family besides his father and he lives over seas ) so again, empathetic me stayed after many promises to do whatever it took for me to trust him again. Well that didn’t happen. The more he refused to let me look at his phone and computer the more hurt I began to feel and ultimately began to just do everything in my power to make him happy because I thought if I was better he wouldn’t feel the need to do that. Once he saw he had the upper hand and had destroyed my self esteem, relationship with my friends and family, he just dumped me. No tears just cold heartlessly threw me away. After I was there for him, helped him clean out the house and re- arrange things, buy stuff. I mean I did so much with so much love in my heart for him I like refused to believe that he could do that to me. I literally wanted to die. Once I moved back home with my parents and got myself in a better head space , I reached out to him.. because I wanted to be wrong about him. I didn’t want to believe it was fake. And we went back an forth a couple times , but the last time he apologiZed to my mother, said he was sorry for how he treated me. But she knew he was full of shit. Next day he blew up on me for I don’t remember what told me to get the fuck out. Called my mom saying him and I are done and if I didn’t leave he was going to call the cops on me.. I mean it’s hard to come to terms with, but some people are that evil, And at some point you have to realize it’s not you there is nothing u can do, and they will just find another’s victim. But I know all. Too well how hard it is to get over the pain of it.