Hello. I am new to this group and was pretty excited to signup and start connecting with others in the same situation.

I am going to apologize upfront for this long post. The summary of what is below is that I went through two years of absolute hell in a divorce with a sociopath, a person whom I believe is a covetous sociopath based on her behavior, and now have to co-parent with her for the next 9 years. And my question is this: is anyone else in the same position? 

So with the bottom line up front, I'm really not sure where to begin, so I think a summary is an order. I am almost 40, a father of four and was married, faithfully, for 18 years. I divorced in 2016 after nearly two years of separation and the most mentally taxing time in my life. Now I am not so naive to believe that I had no part in my failings in my marraige. How we did not divorce sooner? In retrospect, I think it was a combination of bred-in loyalty, a desire to be one of the families that didn't divorce. I don't know. But the last year of our marraige and since, it was like a switch was flipped inside of her. Maybe she had a crack in the veneer or she decided to reveal her nature. I cannot really be sure.

We started marraige counselling In April of 2014 and it lasted a few months. I started to notice that when it came to exercises where her and I had to work together, she would withdraw or remain silent. Separation and divorce became common topics and by December I asked for the divorce. What I found out that month through her facebook and phone bill was that she had connected with an old boyfriend, was setting money aside and eventually travelled to another state to have an affair. When I confronted her with the evidence, that was when the switch, the crack occurred. From that point on it became the most contentious, most stressful event in my life. As a man that grew up in a family of military and service service: honor and integrity were huge values in our family. Guarding those was paramount. Cheating, lieing, stealing in any form were abhored. And while that sounds like a tremendous amount of pressure, forgiveness and compassion went hand in hand with honor. I know it sounds a bit like something out of the Knights of Camelot, but it is the truth. And it why dealing with a covetous sociopath has been so taxing. Not only will the sociopath lie and manipulate; the covetous sociopath attempts to take from you the things which you hold dear, which in my case was the high road during the divorce, time and my relationship with my children, my integrity and the nond between friend and family. 

Since December 2014, I have been trying to co-parent with her, although it is very clear that we are not doing so with the same intentions. She has a "bring me a rock" mentaility; If you want something like my court-ordered time with children, travel to my current location and come pick them up. Or she decides on her own to disregard the custody schedule or orders, and while that may play out in time it does not change the fact that they are their mother and will be in my life for the next 9 years. So, here I am. Is anyone else in the same boat?