Hey guys, I have not been here for a very long time. Dunno if when I was last here I had already got cancer........but what is a fact now is that I have been apart from my ex for 18 months and it has been 18 months of hell getting over him. I truely turned into psycho ex girlfriend after he dumped me, on the very day I was given the all clear on my cancer, wanted out. A thing that struck me, and I would be interested to hear what you guys think, is that when he met me I was magnificent, beautiful, wealthy, successful, strong, independent, stable and do you think it is a sociopath trait to borrow those kinds of characteristics from his woman, because he does not have them himself - they prop him up and make him feel as she or I was. In my case I stayed for 13 years even though he physically and verbally abused me, had affairs, lied, and all that - my shit, my responsibility, I could have left. But essentially I was the care giver and the dominant person in the relationship - I had the money so it was my houses, my cars, my furniture, my everything, and he came into my life with nothing. Nothing but a drug habit in fact. The years went by and I managed to leave him once for 5 months and then I took him back, and by this point I had lost everything, he had taken me down good and solid, and I had a drug habit too by then. But that's history. Then I got sick, got cancer overnight, out of the blue, and suddenly he was the one in charge, for the very first time ever got a lease on a property and gave me a roof over my head and was in a position where he had to take care of me. But he could not - and again - same thing as the meeting, now I was sick, had no hair, could not walk, was depressed and more and I believe I was now a reflection of all that he had inside him - which is why he went for successful women etc. From the moment I got sick he lost interest in me and I think I repulsed him and he literally just stayed through my treatment period because he had to, felt some obligation, though constantly asked me to leave even though I was sick, could not work, or earn, had no where to go. Two friends had to say to him Simon, she has carried you and you have depended on her for 13 years, and now she needs you, you have to stay till this plays out, till she either dies or gets well, you cannot leave. He just wanted out. There was no in sickness and health bond - he did not even buy me food or take care of me or once put his arms around me for a full year that I spent on my own whilst he worked from 4am to 9pm at night. I would sit on my own all day and wait for him to come home but had already seen he was gone from me. Then when I got the all clear he just discarded me, and took my beloved dogs which I owned and would have nothing to do with me. I was utterly broken, from the cancer yes, but more so from his rejection and dismissal and how he just cast me out. Is this sociopathic behavior. It has taken me 18 months to come to terms with it and I think I am almost there. I behaved so badly during those 18 months, texting him obsessively, texting any new girlfriend he got, crying, begging, pleading, and then just last week he phoned to speak to me about a matter we had to resolve around our phone contracts, and i found it was gone, i no longer felt a thing, i was able to be contained and neutral, i did not whine and beg, i ended the conversation. i make sure i have no contact now even though i am desperate to see my dogs, and he wont let me. Its been a fucking nightmare, the whole 13 years, even tho there were good times too - he utterly and totally broke me, especially at the end when i needed him when i got cancer, and he offered nothing. I am trying to heal.