I had just come home to Canada after a holiday in California. The next morning I had to meet my ex half way to pick up my girls. At the time, I worked for the Board of Education and they both attended the school that I worked at. It was the first day back after the Christmas holidays. My fiance was working in California and he had taken my Neon and left me his 350 Ford Dually 4 door truck. It was only a couple of months old.
It was snowing that morning and I had to brush a lot of snow off of the truck before I could go anywhere. My ex called to say that he had just received a call and they wanted him to go to work a little earlier than usual and wondered if I could leave a little sooner. Since I was ready, I left right then. I got out of town, and was driving no more than about 45-50 km's an hour as the roads were pretty dicey. I had gone through an intersection where the speed limit had lowered....I remember slowing down even a bit for the intersection. Once I got through there I was only about 1/4 mile down the road farther when all of a sudden headlights were directly in front of me! I didn't even have time to get the word "fu** out when everything started to go in slow motion. I remember what felt like sand being thrown in my face.....all slowly. The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and my head was down....all I could see was a flattened lifeless airbag. I realized that the truck was filling up with smoke so tried to get the heck out of there. My door wouldn't open, so I threw off my seatbelt and got out the passengers side. I stood on the side of the road. Just stood there. That's all I remember doing.....I heard someone make a 911 call, stating that they needed an ambulance immediately as there was a man covered in blood and unconscious.
I didn't even realize that I was still just standing there......a man came up behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder and said to come into the house with him.........it was then that I asked if the other guy was okay....he told me that he was just fine.....so I proceeded to tell him that he came out of nowhere, it was like he fell from the sky right in front of me. This man told me that he saw it happen, and said it happened so fast he couldn't believe it himself.
Anyway, by the time the ambulance got me to the hospital my parents were there waiting, and my own doctor was on call. I guess I had called my parents from my cell phone from the scene of the accident, but I don't remember it. They in turn had gotten in touch with my ex on his cell to tell him what happened. He was trying to drive back home in that weather with two very panicky girls. They had seen the ambulance, police and firetrucks going out of town, and the girls were scared wondering if it was me they were coming for as I was late......so when the phone call came into them....they were not doing good I understand.
Anyway, it turned out that the man who came in my lane, hit me head on, no one brakes were applied as there wasn't time......was killed instantly.....They finally told me that at the hospital....he had two boys a bit younger than my girls.....and was only 35.
I had severe whiplash and nerve damage as well as being sore and bruised. My face was badly burned from the chemicals in the air bag.
Since this accident in 2003 I've been to physical therapy, counseling, specialists galore. I've suffered from a headache each and every day since that accident almost six years ago. My injuries sustained in that accident have now developed into Fybromyalgia. I can no longer do anything I used to be able to do. I lost my job, had to sell my home and had to declare bankruptcy. I still have nightmares, daily headaches, severe depression, migraines, and many symptoms that come with FM. I mourn for a man I didn't know, I cry for his family, for him. It's been a long and hard 6 years, and I don't see anything bright coming in my future. I now have a cane I use on bad days. I have a neck brace for those days too. I have heating pads, ice packs, tens machine, infra red massagers, muscle rubs galore, and am on 7 different medications, most of them pain meds.
I've gone from being a single mom working full time, traveling, owning my own home, skiing, to being in bed most days, no job, no energy, always in pain......ALWAYS in pain..........
It was snowing that morning and I had to brush a lot of snow off of the truck before I could go anywhere. My ex called to say that he had just received a call and they wanted him to go to work a little earlier than usual and wondered if I could leave a little sooner. Since I was ready, I left right then. I got out of town, and was driving no more than about 45-50 km's an hour as the roads were pretty dicey. I had gone through an intersection where the speed limit had lowered....I remember slowing down even a bit for the intersection. Once I got through there I was only about 1/4 mile down the road farther when all of a sudden headlights were directly in front of me! I didn't even have time to get the word "fu** out when everything started to go in slow motion. I remember what felt like sand being thrown in my face.....all slowly. The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and my head was down....all I could see was a flattened lifeless airbag. I realized that the truck was filling up with smoke so tried to get the heck out of there. My door wouldn't open, so I threw off my seatbelt and got out the passengers side. I stood on the side of the road. Just stood there. That's all I remember doing.....I heard someone make a 911 call, stating that they needed an ambulance immediately as there was a man covered in blood and unconscious.
I didn't even realize that I was still just standing there......a man came up behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder and said to come into the house with him.........it was then that I asked if the other guy was okay....he told me that he was just fine.....so I proceeded to tell him that he came out of nowhere, it was like he fell from the sky right in front of me. This man told me that he saw it happen, and said it happened so fast he couldn't believe it himself.
Anyway, by the time the ambulance got me to the hospital my parents were there waiting, and my own doctor was on call. I guess I had called my parents from my cell phone from the scene of the accident, but I don't remember it. They in turn had gotten in touch with my ex on his cell to tell him what happened. He was trying to drive back home in that weather with two very panicky girls. They had seen the ambulance, police and firetrucks going out of town, and the girls were scared wondering if it was me they were coming for as I was late......so when the phone call came into them....they were not doing good I understand.
Anyway, it turned out that the man who came in my lane, hit me head on, no one brakes were applied as there wasn't time......was killed instantly.....They finally told me that at the hospital....he had two boys a bit younger than my girls.....and was only 35.
I had severe whiplash and nerve damage as well as being sore and bruised. My face was badly burned from the chemicals in the air bag.
Since this accident in 2003 I've been to physical therapy, counseling, specialists galore. I've suffered from a headache each and every day since that accident almost six years ago. My injuries sustained in that accident have now developed into Fybromyalgia. I can no longer do anything I used to be able to do. I lost my job, had to sell my home and had to declare bankruptcy. I still have nightmares, daily headaches, severe depression, migraines, and many symptoms that come with FM. I mourn for a man I didn't know, I cry for his family, for him. It's been a long and hard 6 years, and I don't see anything bright coming in my future. I now have a cane I use on bad days. I have a neck brace for those days too. I have heating pads, ice packs, tens machine, infra red massagers, muscle rubs galore, and am on 7 different medications, most of them pain meds.
I've gone from being a single mom working full time, traveling, owning my own home, skiing, to being in bed most days, no job, no energy, always in pain......ALWAYS in pain..........
You are in pain right now but that is only temporary. Trust me I know all these years later feels like it will never go away but it will. You have to believe that it will. And you say you see no light for your future...you have some much light in your PRESENT let alone your future. Look at your beautiful family. Your kids, your parents. You have so many good things in your life right now no need to wait for the future to see light because you already have it. Tragedy blinds us and makes it hard for us to see that.
I DO understand your pain, and I cry everyday for the little girls I coul not save.I know how how you feel, we carry this guilt, this pain, and trick ourselves into believing that the pain they are having is b/c of us.
Please know that God had some crazy plan that day for you and me both.
It was unfourtunate that it has dibilated you so much but i have faith that you will regain much of your strength, as I had many of the same injuries, and got off of almost all the drugs.
This man fufilled his purpose and he went to heaven that day, you have much more living to do, even if its hobbling with a cane. Perhaps its to gain a greater perspecive of life? We dont ever know.
But you have much living left to do.. and know his family is celebrating his transition over to heaven.