I see that you have posted a few messages about your Dad passing in September. I have lost my Dad, my sister and my husband all within five years. I know Your pain very well. For a few years after my Dad died I would sneak into his closet to smell his shirt and cry my eyes out. One day my husband followed me and explained how upset my Dad would be to seeing me do this and to honor him I should stop and start living my best life. I try to do this everyday. Remember the love you had and not his passing.