Hi! just joined the online fun...I'm 40 yo. I was bullied by my sister (5 y older) all my childhood without my parents noticing it - she had 'mental health issues' (yes thank you I had noticed!), and managed to handle it by moving countries in my 20ies and keeping family at moderate distance (still celebrating on and off christmas together). After 15 years building my life as an adult abroad without being much in touch I thought things had changed and invited her to celebrate my 40th birthday with my parents where she tried to be indirectly abusive:  going through my mum to impose things on me. So I decided it was time to stand up for myself and told her I disagreed with her behaviour in VERY calm way. I only just said 'you can't do that to me' and that triggered a tsunami of verbal abuse. this happened on Saturday and I am still in major shock.

I just can't cope with the idea of so much hatred directed toward me, together with the absurdity of the accusations she made. She basically complained about things she did to me as if I did them to her. the truth is I never ever did anything bad to her and since she seems to dislike me so much I have always made major efforts to make her feel ok about me.

Tough thing is I had just recovered from depression induced by burnout last year + a series of friends losses, work drama and family drama onmy partner's side. This birthday celebration with my own family was my effort to put things in the past but i'm afraid it did the opposite.

I keep telling myself the shock comes from the fact I stood up for myself for the first time in my life in front of her and it will go away but it's been 3 days and I feel like I'm in pieces. The whole scene of her barking at me + the rest of the family pretending nothing is happening just like in the old days is too much to take. Especially now I know it's not normal.

If you had similar experience to share to help me with coping for the next days and beyond I would be extremely grateful.