Suicide Community Group

Just what the name says. Anything to do with suicide. I want this to be a place where people can discuss their issues about suicide, whether they or someone they know has tried it, are thinking about trying it, or just want to discuss it. I want this to be a place where people can voice their issues, and receive positive feedback and help. Remember: Suicide is a permanent...

174 Members
220 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Suicide Support Group

I just dont care at all anymore.

COUNTRESSS
COUNTRESSS
I've done lost all of my abilty to keep my life worth trying to stay alive. I dont care or want anybody to care im on 9 different psychiatrist meds for bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features, borderline line personality disoder extreme P.T.S.D and im a cutter. My boyfriend of 3 years is telling me hes fallin out of love with me. Were both on disabily so we dont work so with together 24/7 so were literaly about to go stark crazy being with each other. We live in such a dangerous place im not even allowed to go out bymyself. He has Heptais C and cissours and im mental so the only time we get out is to go to Doctor appoitments i had neck sugery 9 months ago and im not healing and have numbess in my fingers and its not Carpal Tunnel they have no clue. They give me junk for pain medication and im allways in agony. I know no one would miss me if i died. The only reason i dont commit suicide is im scared i'll go to hell but right about know my faith is drifting so far away that im getting to the point to say fuck it. I just got 2 years sober on the 4th of July and i'll have clean of of dope for 2 years in September. But im so miserable it puts me in pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You sound like your at rock bottom. Im not the best person for positive advice but I guess when you think about it, it cant get all that much worse. Im sorry I just felt kinda bad no one replied to you yet I dont really know what to say. I hope things do get better for you though.
fashion
fashion
It is hard to find the positive isn't it? I keep thinking to myself, God - you gave me this depression. The suicidal thoughts are really getting to me. I don't want to go to hell, either. I also don't want to botch suicide. I've never attempted it and I don't have a plan but my head just keeps telling me I want to die. I read in a book that the reason is I am suppressing the inner me/killing it - and that is why the thoughts keep occurring but I just don't know. After 19 years of thinking I want to kill myself daily it is wearing me down. You'd think there would be some relief. I don't seem to get to many days off from it. I can only imagine how it will be when I am older and probably more depressed with my life.
My father tried to drive me and my mother off of a cliff when I was about 4 and I just wish my mother hadn't turned the steering wheel. I think he was onto something and it wouldn't have been suicide. I was completely prepared to go over that cliff. I accepted it. Now I just live a lonely life.
Congratulations on your sobriety. That is no easy task. I wish I could take everything away painful away for you but I think about suicide too. Hang in there. No one gets out of here alive. It will be over one day. Plus, you don't want to botch it. That is the worst.