I just can't take it anymore. I OD'd 7 months ago and today I really wish I had been successful. I know I have to keep going, but I'm so so tired. I have 7 kids to care for now, my husband (their father) is a drunk and walked out on us late last year. I do all of it on my own, he doesn't help out much, I have no parents, they are gone, my father to suicide of all things. My siblings are a lot older than I and have families of their own and grandchildren to keep them all busy. I'm tired of going through life alone, of hearing how I'm doing things wrong or what I'm doing isn't pleasing other people and they would prefer it if....... Are people stupid!! I'm left now to look at my life, child abuse, childhood sexual abuse, anorexia, father's suicide, stillborn daughter, mother's death, miscarriage, alcoholic husband and now a seperation and probably a divorce. I don't have the strength anymore. I held on to my marriage for as long as I could, the 'happy ever after' idea kept me going through my childhood and teenage years and now it's been taken from me, he doesn't want to work it out and come home, he doesn't want to stop drinking. I do it all myself, take the kids to school and daycare, soccer training, parent teacher interviews, drs appointments, nurse sick children, cook, clean, now matter how I'm feeling, I have to keep going. I just can't handle the world and all it's disapproval and judgements at the moment. I'm doing the best I can, but today I just want to give up, throw my hands in the air and say "I quit"
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Apology to all I have offended in recent days. I am on a roll. I have resumed carrying my salt shaker so that my foot tastes better when I stick it in my mouth.Off to my cave now. . .
How is everyone doing??What's it like out where you are?Any weekend plans??..... Can we chat a little?It's drab and rainy here today but I have to get out to the drug store and pick up a script and that means chocolate!!... Yum....milk chocolate with toffee.... The bestRascal will come along for a walk and that's about it for the day.... No real plans .... Maybe a bit of cleaning and a show or...