I'm tired of being here! It gets so much worse at night. Then morning comes and I'm upset I woke up. Just another day to fuck up and waste space. I'm sooo tired! I reach out and its like I'm speaking another language. No1 hears me!!! I'm over it! I don't even know how I got this bad! Ive tried steps and coping skills and I still want to cut and honestly want to take it further! I'm so tired I dont even think cutting will help! I'm ready to let go! I know my children will be in a better place and I won't burden them or any1 else anymore. My Will has been written for years in prep for my ultimate success!
I still feel like I don't want to be alive. I wish and prefer that I could fall asleep and never wake up. I hate the way that I live and how I spend my life and I wish I was gone. I never have enought time. My headaches come every day and I walk in a complete fog.
I cant say no. I'm not allowed to say no. My team can say no to me. Other teams can say no and pick and choose but I am the last resort for anything that is an ask at our company. I can't say, "no that should be someone else's problem" My bosses solutions have been to add project managers to help watch what I do which results in more meetings and status updates on my...