I don't know how to go on. I Asked my mom a simple question today and she turned it in to a big thing and verbally attacked me. I don't know how to go on. I don't know why I tell her anything sometimes. Now I don't know if I can anymore. It seems like she thinks that I should be able to handle everything on my own now that I'm an adult. She was different when I was younger and now that I'm older it's seemes like she doesn't always care anymore. I feel physically ill right now even as she was talking to me my vision was starting to blur. I don't know what to do.
Am I chicken? Weak? Useless? I'm not sure. I just know that getting through each day is painful and no fun! My van in the garage keeps calling my name.... Just sit in here... go to sleep and all the poain goes away.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about ending it all. The hurt and pain would finally go away. It was bad enough last week. My eldest still lived at home and I felt I had a purpose. Now she's gone. When I walk to my bedroom I see her empty room. I realize I now have no purpose to live. I have no family. Only one friend. And I hurt everyday. So tired of crying. No one would...