My daughter was born on March thirteenth 2013.  She was born full term and healthy there were no complications during my wife's pregnancy.  We were good parents, we went together to every dr appointment.  We were both very excited to become parents.  I will never forget the day she was born and holding her for the first time.  When she was born the Dr told us she was healthy and strong but they wanted to keep her in the hospital a little longer than usual because she had Jaundice but not to be alarmed.  So they discharged us and we left our little girl there.  My wife and I talked about it and we both were upset that we had to leave her.  At that point we both felt like that was the worst thing we would ever have to face was leaving our newborn daughter behind while we went home.  But, we tried to remain positive and use that time to go home and do some last minute preparations for hour home when we brought Sophie home, and my wife could have used a little rest at that point.  So we did it.   Skipping ahead a couple days.  I work late hours at work so I don't generally go to sleep until early in the morning.  I am home from work my wife is asleep and Sophie wakes up for a bottle.  I go get her bottle warmed up and have her sitting in her little swing waiting for it to heat up.  I start to notice that it looks like she is struggling to breath and slumping over in her swing.  She was only 12 days old at that point.  So I take her to my wife in bed and wake her up and ask her is Sophie breathing???  We both don't think she is so we panic and rush to the Emergency room 5-8 Minutes from home.  We get there and they are all frantically running around in the ER. Phones are ringing people are running in and out of the room and nobody is telling us what is going on.  LeBonheur Children's hospital is about an hours drive from that hospital we were at.  Finally someone tells us that Sophie is very sick and they are not sure what's wrong with her.  LeBonhuer sent a helicopter to pick Sophie up and take here to the children's hospital.  It took them 17 minutes to get to us.  When they got there they were trying to get Sophie stabilized enough to fly to the hospital.  This is all so shocking because we had NO idea that she was sick let alone life threatening sick.  They finally get her stabilized enough to fly to LeBonheur.  When we got to LeBonheur she had already been there for almost an hour.  We finally get io go in to see Sophie and they have her on life support and break the news to us that she is not responding to any treatment and they have her on life support and that she has some sort of massive infection that they are unclear of the cause.  She passed away that morning.  We were both terribly wrong about the hardest thing we would ever have to do...  As time goes on we have struggled with the loss of Sophie, the questions that it makes you ask.  It has taken a toll on our marriage and it has also brought us closer together..  We have since had our second daughter she is almost two and full of life and healthy.  We have both struggled with controlling Madilyn's surroundings and who she is around from the moment she was born.  It's like I kept waiting on something to happen to her.  She is almost two years old and I haven't gone to sleep tonight because I just want to be awake in case she needs me...  The more time that passes since Sophie's death I think it is getting worse for me.  Perhaps I was just numbe for two years and it started to hit me when Madilyn was born.  I don't know but things are supposed to get easier or better with time I thought but for me it's getting worse.  

Anyone else had a similar experience?