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2songbirds 03/31/2010

I researched and got my H to a great therapist who specializes in SA. I saw he had the book, amongst several others..."out of the shadows" by Patrick .....(?) I can't think of his last name right now. H really likes him, and the therapist wanted me to join in yesterdays session. I really liked him as well. He lowered the price for us, totally unexpectedly as we don't have insurance so now it's more affordable for me to get counseling from the damage this has caused over the last seven yrs.

My Q

should I go to the same therapist as H? I know there's confidentiality, but maybe he can tie our cases together to get the "whole" picture. I was thinking that maybe it would give me a better understnding of the males porn addiction while dealing with my self esteem issues. Or, should I see a totally different one?

He did invite me to start counseling with him, and said as he did to my H, that if I ever felt desperate, lost, to call him anytime anyday. I've never heard of a counselor being on call for his patients

Learningskills 04/01/2010

I wish that my H and I had gone together to the therapist at the onset. We didn't. And I have always wondered what was said there. Just more questions in my head to ponder. I really don't like that feeling. So, if I had another shot at that...I would want to be there at the onset. If there is going to be truth, maybe it's best right at the beginning. The longer the truth is hidden, the longer the suffering....for me anyway.

2songbirds 04/01/2010

sorry, just realized I didn't put it right..we wouildn't be going to the sessions together, we'd just be seeing the same therapist at different times. I was thinking tho, as therapist like to keep track of the sessions that he could use both of our sessions to tie the whole situation together.

I only went to this one sessioin, as he just started going. I think that was his 3rd week going. I was thinking that if I was there, H may not be totally open and honest with the conversations and questions. At least this way, he has to think about it, and hear himself say some things. That might be worse

deleted_user 04/01/2010

My h has being his therapist now 8 years. I have been on my own also, for self esteem issues. A few times we have been together. We both early on signed a waiver regarding the confidentuality, so anything that came up, that may be helpful for the other, can be discussed. It is not a He-said....she-said......type of thing, just information that she sees may be valuable , for our individual recoveries.
I personally never had any problems, and found it easier for the therapist to connect dots, and thus treat us because of her inside knowledge. Also any questions i had regarding my h's treatment plan, she explained well.
My h has got her personal cell number, for emergancies only.......thankfully he has never used it.

He still goes once a month, i haven't been for 18 months.......however i can call at anytime, if need be.

So i am for it, based on my experience :)

2songbirds 04/01/2010

ok, I think I will go ahead and try to figure our schedules and fit me into the equation. I know I need to go for my self esteem issues as well, and to help me get a better perspective on things

deleted_user 04/03/2010

My h started with a therapist and when I called to see him too I did ask if the Dr had a problem with it. He was very upfront and said it would not be an issue for him but that he wanted us both to be comfortable. I liked him a lot and we have separate and joint sessions. I think it has helped to keep eachother in the loop and work on the relationship and our individual problems. too.

2songbirds 04/06/2010

H said he's glad that I'm going tmrw to talk to him. He knows I need someone else to communicate to about this. Im actually looking forward to it. Strange tho, due to our schedules, my appt is right after h's

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