Spouses of Sexual Addicts. Community Group
I told him last night that he does not get any more chances from me. I told him that he doesn't get to behave this way and still get to be part of a loving family unit. I have already asked him to sleep in another room. I have asked him to look for an apartment but the prices in our area are outrageous, nearly as much as buying a house.
I thought of posting in the divorce support group, but I feel that group is so different that I'm not going to post there.
Has anyone been through a separation divorce? What about with young children?
Our daughter is only 6, the means the world to us, and she has special needs. Sometimes I think I should just "stick around" for another 12 years just for her. She has no idea what is going on if course, and we are kind and loving to each other especially in front of her. She has not asked yet why daddy is in another room.
I feel so lost..... My life, my dreams for the future have always revolved around our family.
I do NOT want to be alone. The thought of ever dating and finding "someone else" is not even in my vocabulary.
I just don't know where to go from here.
I have only told his mother about this. My family doesn't know about this recent discovery, but they do know about the past and it's just a matter of time before they notice that something is wrong.
He keeps telling me that he will accept whatever I decide. He knows he cannot ask me for forgiveness at this point. He says we should not make a decision until we are out of "crisis mode". Well, what does that mean? How long does it last?
Sorry about the ramble....
I thought of posting in the divorce support group, but I feel that group is so different that I'm not going to post there.
Has anyone been through a separation divorce? What about with young children?
Our daughter is only 6, the means the world to us, and she has special needs. Sometimes I think I should just "stick around" for another 12 years just for her. She has no idea what is going on if course, and we are kind and loving to each other especially in front of her. She has not asked yet why daddy is in another room.
I feel so lost..... My life, my dreams for the future have always revolved around our family.
I do NOT want to be alone. The thought of ever dating and finding "someone else" is not even in my vocabulary.
I just don't know where to go from here.
I have only told his mother about this. My family doesn't know about this recent discovery, but they do know about the past and it's just a matter of time before they notice that something is wrong.
He keeps telling me that he will accept whatever I decide. He knows he cannot ask me for forgiveness at this point. He says we should not make a decision until we are out of "crisis mode". Well, what does that mean? How long does it last?
Sorry about the ramble....
Take it all step by step. I am an "action" person and it was one of the hardest things for me to do, to be patient and sit with some unknowns. After a while, I knew I would be alright NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED and that I was much more capable than I gave myself credit for. You will be okay too. It just doesn't feel like it right now.
I used the term "trial separation".
He will still come here after work and be with our daughter, then go to his own place.
I told him I do not want to be part of his recovery again. I feel that he needs the time alone to figure himself out and see where he ends up.
He said, ok, I will look for places and we will figure something out.
I honestly cannot believe that this is happening in my life
I'd say it wont be easy, but possibly worth it in the future. I understand that you still love your husband and you're worried for your children. Maybe it's because you just want a stable life and relationship? Like all us women crave.
I understand you do not want to be on your own, taking care of the children, the house and having no adult to talk to and I thought the "trial seperation" idea was a very good one. Always make sure you have a safety net for you to land on when things go upside down.
I take it you live in America? Do they have such things like "Rent-To-Buy Schemes"? That have that over here in Ireland, and it's pretty good. You pay example, €400 a month or depending how much income you're getting.
Be kind to yourself. It will be hard for you, but you need this time to heal and time for your husband to have a good old think to himself. When you're ready, put your mind to more productibe things like writing a book for example or making little sculptures with your children. Keep your mind busy and stay strong.
I hope things will work out better for you. If you ever need to talk, send me an email and I'll help as much as I can :) Good luck xxx