Spouses of Sexual Addicts. Community Group
Hi everyone. Tonight my H and I are seeing a CSAT who studied under Patrick Carnes. He is very nearby our home, and I managed to get an agreement between him and our insurance carrier because he is out of network. I am hopeful. I am still in "limbo: here because of the polygraph ( I KEEP talking about and not doing!!) I also found that my H was viewing the porn on more than his one laptop computer in the house.(has another PC in our bedroom,rarely used )
From what the webwatcher showed from his laptop, I had thought the last "slip" was confined to non "teen" porn, and actually was peculiar with very large and older woman. On his other computer I found hidden files of his "usual" porn during that same week. Then my mind when crazy.. did he KNOW I had the spyware on his laptop and was deliberately going to non teen sites on the laptop , to throw me off.??
When I suggested that to him, he said that was ridiculous..maybe--I dont know what is ridiculous anymore!?
. To add to the doubts here, he has chosen to train to be a truck driver. He expects to set up "home" in a large truck and take week long trips. I didnt think he was the kind of person to desire this..but he seems like he is looking forward it!
I'm starting to rethink everything here. He declares his love for me, every day..but it just feels empty..until I can get closure on what it is he is hiding I cant seem to open my heart to truly heal this marriage.
To add to my stress here, I have 2 elderly parents(90) who i see once a week. My dad has been accepted to a wonderful nursing home, but he has no idea-has Alzheimers/dementia. The next 2 months are going to be very emotional!
I dont know why I keep putting off the poly?? We dont have money..but..its more than that.. maybe I'm afraid to hear the truth..or to have to make a final decision.? I dont have many /any options financially. I will lose this home.. probably will have to rent a small place, with my 2 teen kids. My daughter (15) says she is fine with that, but, she is still just a child.
You ladies have been wonderful, and I think most(if not all) have said I should just get the poly done.
I hope the appt with the CSAT will be productive! I will keep you posted.
blessings..
From what the webwatcher showed from his laptop, I had thought the last "slip" was confined to non "teen" porn, and actually was peculiar with very large and older woman. On his other computer I found hidden files of his "usual" porn during that same week. Then my mind when crazy.. did he KNOW I had the spyware on his laptop and was deliberately going to non teen sites on the laptop , to throw me off.??
When I suggested that to him, he said that was ridiculous..maybe--I dont know what is ridiculous anymore!?
. To add to the doubts here, he has chosen to train to be a truck driver. He expects to set up "home" in a large truck and take week long trips. I didnt think he was the kind of person to desire this..but he seems like he is looking forward it!
I'm starting to rethink everything here. He declares his love for me, every day..but it just feels empty..until I can get closure on what it is he is hiding I cant seem to open my heart to truly heal this marriage.
To add to my stress here, I have 2 elderly parents(90) who i see once a week. My dad has been accepted to a wonderful nursing home, but he has no idea-has Alzheimers/dementia. The next 2 months are going to be very emotional!
I dont know why I keep putting off the poly?? We dont have money..but..its more than that.. maybe I'm afraid to hear the truth..or to have to make a final decision.? I dont have many /any options financially. I will lose this home.. probably will have to rent a small place, with my 2 teen kids. My daughter (15) says she is fine with that, but, she is still just a child.
You ladies have been wonderful, and I think most(if not all) have said I should just get the poly done.
I hope the appt with the CSAT will be productive! I will keep you posted.
blessings..
Your H is still actively acting out and is still minimizing what he is doing/has done. Yes, he may be trying to throw you off (they are that devious!).
No one can advise you what to do, but you seem very aware of how you feel and being really connected to how you feel is how we move forward and make very difficult decisions.
My feeling is that he is trying to maintain his addiction through his new career which for him would be very easy to do since he would be on the road.
You have a lot on your plate with your parents so try to keep focusing on yourself and on your children and extended family because where he is concerned there you have no power or control.
We didnt get into the nerw career yet..we'll be seeing him next week.
I am trying to remain hopeful..
Dr Wadley did seem open and familiar about the poly, and he work with sex offenders, so, maybe we'll address that next week. It was great having my fears about the teen porn validated by this specialist.. Thank you ladies.. It was an emotional night, but I feel sp blessed to have found this therapist.