Yes my h was 19 years also. His first experience was with a 28 year old woman. He had his first girl friend at 16 years, but he didn't have sex becuase he was wanting to be respectful and had learnt (jammed down throat by catholic parents) to wait for marriage. Really he was shy and insecure.
It is apparent to me now that he had and still struggles with intimacy issues.

I think my H was in High School...so teens. And his exposure to real sex was very limited even up until we got together. He was exposed to porn and masturbation at around 8. So, I'm sure he had already set ideas about sex and what it was all about. Very skewed. Not romance, love or intimacy...just sexual images and masturbation. So his long self-induced exposure to dirty sex was in place for most of his life. I can't help but wonder if they can ever learn anything else at all. Info from the other board doesn't provide much hope for that at all.

SheenRe,
I agree that there is much hope at all. Like yours, I think mine learned at a young age (13-18) about P and magazines and hwat women like. And when we furst got together, I remember him saying to me taht he had studies what women liked in bed... Now I understand what he meant... He learned from P and magazine so love, compassion, intimacy for him meant nothing and it shows. Unfortunately, for my BF I am not sure he can change as he doesn't recognize the depth of his porblem.. He just thinks if he stops looking at P, he's doing great.. He doesn't wanna dig that deep to see the root of the problem.... I tried again talking to him yesterday about really digging to find out what has brought him to this point... But as usual, anything to do with communication scares him and he needed up taking a nap instead of talking to me.. I also wonder what his past relationships have been like. I know his first wife and him did swing (he tells me only once and I don't beleive it)... He said that is the only time he has ever done that and I don't beleive him...

I the porn addiction is more of general socity's fault if that makes sense.. My husband been looking at porn at the young age I am guessing no later then 10 years old, and he lost his viginty close to 18 with his first long term girlfriend. I think porn has been in there lives for long before us it almost like 2nd lover? So I am guessing here. Society acts like it normal little boys to want to look at porn it all homornes. This thought terrify me cause I have a little boy, I will do everything my power keep porn away from him, I just don't think little boys emotionally equiped to be lookin at porn till 17 or 18, atleast by they should learn intmacy is attach to sex no what the case is.

Does anyone else have trouble with there husband trying to get them to talk about there ex? I am big on knowing my husband sexual history but he think it none of my business, it may be in the past but I think I should aware of what he done, how many people he been with and who. He get so mad at me when I try to talk to him about it.

Hy h also consistently viewed porn starting at age 8. Didn't have sex until age 18...

It's amazing to me how many of our men had their first sexual experience in their late teens. I agree with Brandy0985 that they started looking at P at a young age and that is where they got their sex values if you will from.. It is pretty sad as I have had about 4 serious relationship aside from my first husband and all the men have been able to perform in bed and didn't have these P and MB problems. Or if they did it certainly didn't interfere with our sex life.

I haven't been to this group for a while... sorry if I'm asking something that should be obvious if I'd researched the old posts.

What about the guy who has his first sexual experience at 13-14, and continues "playing around" with this partner for years? Starts P & M even earlier? Is that the perfect storm for PA/SA? Or are they more apt to fall into it if they have abstained to a later age?

I don't know Triskell. I know that I had sex with my H when he was a sophomore in high school and I was a senior and I know that I wasn't his first. So it's not like every single SA waited to start having sex.

My fiance's P & M started at 16 or17 and didnt have sex till 21...

My husband began with P&M early - 10 or 11. I was his first, at 20 (when we got married).

I just thought that would be an interesting question to throw out to the group. I can't speak for anyone's else but I feel that my BF started MB and P out of boredome and the fact that he couldn't get a real girlfriend. Just my thoughts but it has definetly ruined his life and at 46 I am not sure he can even begin to see the damage that he caused his brian, body, etc let alone get help and try to change. I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle and I will never win.

Sound in theory only, it look like early p & m starters are more likely to be SA/PA then someone who had sex first then p & m? I really like to hear a professional advise on this. Porn is so hard to keep away though, this give me the biggest fear my little boy will up being a SA or PA ;*(

It a never ending battle I think, our men think it okay do this but society deems it normal for men to look at porn. If ya ever look the healthy sex bored, porn is promoted. Our men cormtable in their world and have been like this before we ever came along, they don't see the reason to change cause supposely were suppose to accept them the way they are. My husband grandmother told me once "A good wife, never prys into her husband privacy, she never complains, she cooks his favorite dinner, make sure he has clean underware, and give him sex when he wishes it"........His grandmother raised my husband, I think our husband are looking for grandmother and mothers... not wifes.

I agree that it is a never ending battle. And as I have told my BF before I wouldn't have a problem with him looking at P IF it didn't consume his life and interfere with OUR lives. That is where I think these men cross the line. My BF would spend hours and hours and hours on the computer and when asked it was always "I was looking for a job" or "I'm not doing anything wrong". He made me feel like a nag and insecure person. NOT until I installed spyware on his computer and throw it in his face did he finally admit that he looked at P. Mind you though he didn't say he had a problem with it. He is still in complete denial.

Missbaha, I am in your boat.. My husband in the car yesturnday had the nerve and sit there and tell me "You know we did at work today? We had to take survey and it said 98% of us men out there look at porn, see it normal for men to look at porn..."
All I wanted to do is slam the brakes on my car and start screaming at him Is it normal for you to sit here make up lies to me to defend your addiction that you keep denying? I mean c'mon! You(he) told me don't have an addiction but you sit there and make lies to get me believe it normal? He has speeding ticket to pay that now past due, he could of went payed it friday on his day off but instead he set there look at porn all day, when I got he rush to turn the computer off and lay in bed to say he been sick all day... I think misbaha we can throw in there face 100 different way they will never amitt to it cause they truely think it not a problem cause grew up it being the norm...