Spouses of Sexual Addicts. Community Group

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I Left Him

Escape
Escape

Married to a porn addict for nearly 20 years i left him a year ago. 



Now, after much healing, i finally feel comfortalbe enough to admit out loud the reason i ended my marriage to someone that asks.



Theres one question ive been asked multiple times that took me by surprise the first time i heard it: "would you rather he had cheated on you with a real woman"



This question, has been my experience, comes from people who still cant accept that porn addiction is a real thing.



To that question "would you rather" i answer yes. Yes, i much rather he had cheated on me with a real woman i would have found out and immediately left. Therefore i would have suffered a lot less than i did. It took me YEARS to accept the fact that yes, my husband has a porn addiction. Yes thats actually real regarless of anyones opinion. No, hes never going to want to stop. No, i cant continue to believe his short lived promises to stop. No, i cant allow this to continue destroying my self esteem and YES! I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM. More than that ive recently come to realize... i can do more than just survive. I CAN EXCEL.



I dont know who out there needs to read that, but right now i needed to say it

candycin
candycin
thank you for sharing, i would respond are the women on porn real? Hell yes they are, was your husband lusting after real women? YES to that too. Its all real, and its a bad addiction and it causes so much hurt for all they live in their path of addiction.
Escape
Escape
Youre absolutly right! It took me a long time to realize that he was actually cheating on me with real women. Even if they were 2 dimentional. Im so much happier now. Wouldnt change a thing though. A lot of people say at the end of their marriage the only thing they would change was to have left sooner. Not me though. I left when it was right for me, not a min too soon and not a minite too late.