I don't even know where to start...my husband is my soul mate, has been for 9 years, he is my entire world, my best friend, everything to me. From the beginning he has always had issues with girls, every couple of months i would find his email full of craigslist ads he had answered or a girl from his work that he was"working on" or that he was going to strip clubs and tried to take home a stripper, one after the other after the other. I could tell you so many stories, but at the end of the day, he never actually touched any of them, not once, he always said he just loved the chase and knowing he could "get"them if h wanted. I knew he had a problem and everytime i would try to eave he would promise to get help and things would be good for a while, until the next discovery. Last year we drifted apart, I gave all my attention to our kids, him to work. Then he called and told me he lost his job because he was looking up sex ads on a work computer, I helped him lie it all away and get a new job, until the night i was trying to find something on his phone and instead found a photo of a girl, naked, in a stall of his works bathroom, giving him a blow job. Then it all came crashing down. For the last year he has seen at least 15 hookers, 1 of which he saw 20+ times throughout the year, and a girl who worked with him who he also saw 20+ times, paid each time, had sex with her in our car and our laundry room. he had unprotected sex, caught an sti got treated for it and still said nothing. He voluntarily put himself in treatment and admitted that all the other times he said he would get help he was lying, that he never even temporarily, stopped trying to get with women but that this year he went "crazy" and hated himself for it. now he is the man i love again, we have an amazing time together, we are so happy. but he says he "is in a different head space now" and "will never allow himself to go back to that old life" but he seems uninterested in any additional treatment other than his 12step group and therapy and i am terrified that either A. he is still lying to me, which is hard to believe because he has changed or B. eventually he will just do it again. Everytime he leaves for work I throw up and cry, I am scared all the time, and I have no one, not a single friend I can talk to, so I end up texting him over and over and im making us both crazy but I don't know what else to do, I have no one I can call, no one to help me. Im starting to get really upset again so I am going to stop writing, but if anyone has the time and ability to talk to me, I would really appreciate it, my email is hestersglassdreams@gmail.com and my kik is nightgoneawry.....please help me