Hi Everyone-I haven't posted much lately- My h did have a slip, and although he didnt tell me, which I would have wanted and expected,since the dishonestly was the worst part of the addiction for me.. he has been going to meetings, and has gotten back on "track..admitting he is powerless of the addiction.. now, he comes home today after meeting with unemployment counselors, and tells me he is going for training for CDL, for tractor trailer training..I knew he was thinking about that BUT he said he has to go on LONG trips, for at least 6 months-- Trips that will be 2-3 weeks long. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under me. I just got over this slip( which he doesnt know I know about!) and now I feel like he will be a kid in a candy shop... I know driving a truck is far from a luxury job, but he will be alone..at truck stops.. free to do what he wants ,without anyone knowing.
I simply do not have the trust for this. I havent even had him take the polygraph, do get to the bottom of his "young teen porn" obsession. He is a carpenter, and there is no work--he has been unemplyed for almost 2 years. I just didnt expect this. Maybe I should have since we did talk about the CDL. He just seemed alittle TOO happy about it all. Its a cut in pay--I will have all the work here on top of my self employment position.
.. he won't be doing meetings. I don't even feel like I can express my feeling about this because he is nervous and stressed about this "change" of career.. I have seen others post about wanting to be supportive, but also needing to express our own fears and concerns... It seems impossible right now.. and I don't even know if I want to try anymore !!!
any thoughts?