Hi, as some of you might know, I have several health problems:MTBI/Post concussive syndrome, Fibro., Lupus, DDD, Lymphedema. I lost my job in May, 2008, and have not been able to find another. My Unemployment totally ran out in May, 2010. In the middle of those two events, in May 2009, I fell and suffered a brain injury, which left me with balance, dizziness, memory, and cognative problems. I need to stay away and lock myself up during the month of May from now on.

My neurologist had been advising me to file for SSD since the injury. So finally, this past August, I filed for SSD, SSI, Medicaid, Food Stamps, and Temporary Assistance. Yesterday, I received a letter from Social Security. I knew it was bad news because I heard from them only 3 months from when I filed. I was so scared to open the letter that I waited awhile. When I did open it, of course I had been denied. The reason they denied me was because of " high blood pressure (?) and an impairment (?)" . They said my condition was not severe enough to keep me from working. They said that I told them that I had a mental disorder (I dont think a TBI is a "mental" disorder), a back problem and an impairment."

I am really mad, because it looks like my doctors didn't send their reports in on-time (I don't remember seeing a due date for information). So I need to check with them. The only reports they said they have were from my neurologist (and she was the one who strongly feels that with the cognative and physical problems from the TBI it is dangerous for me to drive as well as work), the hospital where I had my lymphedema therapy and treatment, and the report from the doctor SS sent me to, who was a complete idiot.

I was denied for both SSD and SSI. I was really counting on getting some kind of help. I have had no income-$0- since my unemployment ran out, and already had my phone and tv cut off, and a cut off letter from the electric company, which social services is trying to help me with. I also was approved for food stamps.

Before I filed, I went to a disability lawyer to see if I needed a lawyer to help me. He told me that he honestly felt that with my age, 61, and all the health problems I have, that they would very likely approve me right away. I felt the same, too.

I am just so depressed-I know most everyone gets turned down the first time. But I am in such a bad financial place that I will end up losing everything before I will be approved. I know the next thing is to appeal my case, and I know I need a lawyer for that. How does one find a good disability lawyer? I know they are paid out of any back payment I may receive, and that is ok. I just need to find one close by (I live on Long Island, NY) because with my dizziness, I'm not supposed to be driving.

What makes me mad is the fact that what they denied me for wasn't even something I claimed that was wrong with me. When I went to their doctor for the examination they said I had to have, my blood pressure was up just from the long ride, and thats what happens when I go to most doctors I don't see much. But I have never had "high blood pressure" as a diagnosis because I have never had it! They said that they saw no evidence of any of the other problems I claimed to have. Can they dismiss stuff like that? And put down things that are not true. And what is "an Impairment"? I am just so messed up now. How can they make me work when I physically can't, and my doctors tell me not to?

Can you guys give me some advice and encouragement? Cause right now I just want to crawl into a hole (I probably will have to do that when my house is foreclosed on because I haven't been able to pay my property taxes for the last 2 years because I've had no job!). I just am so tired of looking for help, and don't know if I have whatever it is to keep going. With this brain injury (you look so well!), I never know what will happen. I have no short term memory and also messed up long term memory. Sometimes I can't say what I want to because I can't get the words out of my brain into my mouth. And sometimes just jibberish comes out. Even if they feel being dizzy and off balance is not a problem (try living with it), how can I hold a job when I can't speak right, and never know what is going to come out of my mouth. Even my typing is affected-I know what I want to type, but can't get my brain to connect to my fingers correctly. I used to be able to type quickly, and with very few mistakes. Now it takes me 3 or 4 times longer to type something than it used to take, and I make numerous mistakes-it is so frustrating.

I'm so sorry for running on like this and making this so long. I guess I needed to get this out-I live alone, and my kids and brothers and sisters live very far away from me. Thank you for any advice you may be able to give me,

God Bless. Kathy