Social Anxiety Community Group

Social Anxiety is a term used to describe an experience of anxiety (emotional discomfort, fear, apprehension or worry) regarding social situations and being negatively evaluated by other people. Be kind, considerate to all members & help support each other. Please join us, you don’t have to feel alone anymore!

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needlight 08/27/2008

I just had a fight with my mom. She was really tough with me. She thinks I have no friends because I want to but I really don't know where to find this people. I have finished university and it's becoming hard to know people from my age. She also compared me to my friends from school saying I don't see that they are having fun and going out in weekends and I am the stupid one who stays at home every weekend.Do I have the right to feel hurt? Because, honestly, I am working on my difficults of speaking to somebody, which, actually, is part of my inner child, who once was told to "shut up", so I grew up staying quite and getting near to people the least I could. Look, I am really not giving the right to my mom to say anything because she is, in some point, the cause of my behaviour. I know it doesn't work to think like that, that I have to take care of myself and forget about the past but hearing what she said really broke my heart.

You know, today I can say i have only one friend, who calls me sometimes. I am the one who calls her almost everyday and I am getting tired of it. I am just sick you know.

I don't feel comfortable in places where people smoke and drink a lot like discos and shows, I don't feel ok.Maybe if I had good companies to go I would feel more motivated but I don't even have that. Last weekend a girl which I don't like invited me to go out.She knows I don't like her. I just wished people who I consider to be my friend, like this one I call, invited me for sth, because when I invite it never works.

I am sorry fro writing so much. I needed to this. I am feeling better.

deleted_user 08/28/2008

Dear.. its ok! Its not fair that you were told to stay quiet as a child... so your mother should just back off because shes doing more harm then good... Your out of university right... get out on your own... if your not already... and dont waste time on people who disappoint you... even if you dont like this girl... maybe she likes you... maybe if you gave her a chance to open up you might have more in common with her then you thought.

just a thought... its hard to make friends.. you have to open up .. thats how I make friends... I make myself vulnerable... and my friends appreciate my openness...

join a group.. like some kinda painting class or crafts... something that you can get in a social situation... where you can feel welcomed and comfortable... Dont worrie about the amount of friends either... all you need is one good friend...

deleted_user 08/28/2008

sorry i clicked it twice... lol

deleted_user 08/28/2008

I already left my opinions on the fight in the abuse forum. I do agree with what Amy said. You're done at the university; move out on your own. Find a roommate through the classifieds. I don't keep a lot of friends around in real life (outside of DS), because I learned a long time ago, that I would much rather be alone. I also have that paradox that I would like to be alone, but I feel lonely, and I wish I had some friends. I wish that I had friends that I could watch wrestling/MMA or baseball or movies my wife doesn't like with.

I hate going to places where people smoke too much. I never went to clubs when I was trying to find dates. I'm a big movie buff, so I would go by myself all the time. The theaters in Texas are all smoke-free. Just because you don't go to a disco or shows, it doesn't mean you can't find friends. There are libraries, malls, and like Amy said, go join a group. Surely you have something you like to do or want to do that you can take classes in.

I'm here for you if you need anything. (I also have that curse that if I plan anything, it will never happen.)

deleted_user 08/29/2008

I am surprised that America has not followed suit with Canada.. or im not sure if its just Ontario.. but there is NO smoking in ANY public place.. bar... club.... restaurants... I hear alot of people complain that they dont like going to public places with smoking.. I understand.. as a smoker even.. I would rather go outside.. and smoke.. then to be in a smoking room... (which has been abolished as well...)

needlight 08/29/2008

I loved your replies. Thank you so much. I think me and my mom are too different, she can't handle my crisis moments. Moving is sth that I want to do, unfortunately I can't do it now but God will help me with this issue, I still have faith that things will be better :-)

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