I KNOW.
My parents believed in "children are better seen than heard." I was not allowed to have my own opinions, they expected nothing from me and that's what they got. My parents never encouraged me in anything I attempted,They never TALKED to me. I can never remember being hugged by my parents. I asked my Mother "do you love me" and she said. WHAT DO YOU THINK.
Shall I go on? Naw I just feel like s---. Lillian74

It probably has some effects, when parents don't encourage their children. My parents always compared me to other kids and how I didn't measure up to them, that made me feel really bad. However there are cases when kids in this kind of households grow up, not so shy. I think it has to do with someones sensitivity, the more sensitive you are the more likely you will become shy with strict parents.

well i had great parents.. my mom was ALWAYS there for me. my dad worked away for months ... I really did not like him that much cause he would come back for a couple weeks and be a big grump... he owns his own business and worked really hard for us but I did not understand as a child. I was SOOOO sensitive. I was kinda carefull who i hung out with .. outside of school .. I usually had ONE best friend at a time.. and we would be inseperatable... My mom impowerd me alot with words and discussions... she gave me a great vocab. I cant spell but thats besides the point i sound intelligent...

I think that problems growing up can inhance our anxiety but I truly believe that i am chemically programed to be more anxious then others... in certian situations.. and that my familys history of anxiety is also a big factor I think.. My grandmother has never drove a car in her lifetime... she is a very nervous woman and she worries sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much even today. Her daughter and my aunt is very anxious with strangers.. she has the "shy" label .. from childhood...

i think anxiety is normal.. but excessive anxiety is a problem.


xoxoxo

I was anxious too as a child and I have s friend who was also an anxious child and her mom kept telling her that "she could do it," and she ended up believing in herself and put herself out there much more than I did.

To me alot of that had to do with the fact that I believed that "I couldn't," because I was shy.

My mom was so overprotective when I was younger. I wish she would have "pushed" me into more things that I was afraid of when I was little. She knew that I was shy so she pulled my sister out of kindergarten to go to pre-school with me..... :O( I'm not sure if that has contributed to my SA or not. I'm sure it has to some extent. I only wish I could have learned to be more self-reliant growing up.

Yeah I think pulling one child back to make another child more comfortable is so wrong .. Im learning to be a educational assistant special needs and you have to promote self reliance always.. I was turned into a panic attack when every attempt to make my mother change her mind about the fact that I was too sick to go to school.. I had a cold sore and I had to play the clarinette that day... in front of the class.. I had a hide in the corner cry scream whatever it took to avoid school cause I knew my mom would eventually give in...

but she said..

whats wrong with you? whats wrong with you?? whats wrong with you???

Well, I have pretty much gotten through my anxiety phase which lasted many years, I attribute some of it to how I was raised;My father, for one was very quick to anger and irrationally paranoid, while my mother was all about "Goodness, what would people think?" about the stupidest things, the rest undoubtedly came from severe bullying at school and my perception of what I thought people thought about me.

I feel that how you grow up as a childrelate to how you are today. WHEN I was growing up I had very little social life and how shy I was in front of other people. when I was first born, since my mother was very sick I lived in 2 different foster homes until I was three & a half. Ithen lived with my father and older sister. When my father died I was just 10 yrs. old and my older sister did the best she could (until I was 20 yrs. old)
in taking care of me. Because of my lack of having a social life when I was child growing up. There are times (Which I find it hard in dealing with) both Shyness and Social Anxiety.

the only advice for you is throw yourself out there... some people are out to hurt others but some people are out to make friends and enjoy life... you will learn how to know the difference between people from experiences.. just get social as much as possible .. join a club class.... somthing to promote social interaction and let things flow... people want new friends.. so just express yourself in your own personal way and some people will react and others wont..just dont get discouraged you can do it hun... its all in your head...