Siblings of Addicts Community Group
I created this group because I think often when there is an addict in the family the siblings of the addicts often go unnoticed. I have found numerous support groups for the parents of, the spouses of, and even the children of addicts but nothing really to specialize in the siblings of addicts department and feel it is well overdue. I hope in this group other siblings of...
Spent over 10 years watching my sister go in and out of jail, county mental health, etc. All the while I was caring for her two little daughters. I went to every parent teacher conference, awards ceremony, etc. NOW, she is "recovered"...and they took her to a "spa treatment" ---
They didn't want to tell me about it because it was "very expensive" - and they didn't think I would want to spend that kind of money!!!
MY HEART IS BROKEN...and, I do not know if it will heal. After all of those years, making sure those little girls were ok...I'm left out...because SHE is OK!
They didn't want to tell me about it because it was "very expensive" - and they didn't think I would want to spend that kind of money!!!
MY HEART IS BROKEN...and, I do not know if it will heal. After all of those years, making sure those little girls were ok...I'm left out...because SHE is OK!
It drives me nuts that NOBODY acknowledges that for 10 years...I raised/supported two little girls (my nieces) --- while my sister was in jail, in county mental health, in rehab --- WHATEVER!!!
And, I am now the one accused of causing "tension!!!"
Everybody seems to be in denial except me. And, since I am the only one willing to face the truth, then I am the one creating "tension!"
Anybody out there know how to be the good sibling without being accused of being the "tension?"
I don't have the magic answer, but you have to search deep down inside and realize that you were the one that provided love, care, compassion and stability to her daughters. They were and are what is most important. When they are older (and I do know that this is true) they will thank you and come to you because they trust you. Focus on them, their well being, and ignore your sister and the rest of the family that is supporting her right now. I almost had to tell myself (and this part is not easy) that my Mom and oldest brother was ill because they fed into his BS over and over again when no one else would. If you think of it in kind of that way, it helps you feel a bit different about them and how they are handling your sister?
Trust me..I'm the queen of resentment when it comes to my parents and how they dealt with him...and how they dealt with me, the good kid. However, I realized at some point, my parents never worried about me, but when I brought additional conflict into the mix, they were unable to deal with that too at the same time. Not sure why that's how it is..but it is.
Good luck in dealing with this. I just know that you have to have superior sense of self right now. YOu went above and beyond to help your sister. She may never get it...but the little one's will. They are the most important thing by far. Hugs to you!
Wishing you the best of luck with everything.